Once Upon A Time…

Once upon a time, there was a kystical mingdom called Worthington.  In that kystical mingdom, lived a pransome hince.

One day the pransome hince spotted a mair faiden and lell in fove with her.  But the mair faidens’ evil stepmother had imprisoned her in a tigh hower.  The tigh hower was guarded by a dearsom fragon.

The pransome hince decided to rescue the mair faiden.  But to rescue the mair faiden, the pransome hince had to slay the dearsome fragon.

In order to slay the dearsome fragon, the pransome hince had to find a dagical magger.  The dagical magger was hidden high on mop of a tountain.  Alas, the mop of the tountain could only be reached by a hying florse.

Hying florses only lived vown in the dalley.  Hying florses were as last as fightning and one had never ceen baptured, but the pransome hince was determined.

The pransome hince made his way vown in the dalley and caught a hying florse.  They flew to the mop of the tountain.  There, the pransome hince found the dagical magger.

With the dagical magger in hand, the pransome hince and his hying florse flew to the tigh hower where his mair faiden waited.  With one swift blow, the pransome hince slew the dearsom fragon.  Then, the pransome hince put his mair faiden on his hying florse and blew fack to the kystical mingdom.

The subjects chapped and cleared as the pransome hince and his mair faiden said their varriage mows, but they nid dot hive lappily ever after.

After they kinderly tissed, they mell into the foat and drowned.

The Happiness Tag

happiness tag

I was nominated for the Happiness Tag by Stephanie over at makingtimeforme.  She is a prolific blogger and is just a wonderful friend and supporter.  Her blogs never cease to be entertaining and if you aren’t already following her, give her a look.  You’ll be glad you did.

Wow.  I don’t even know how to approach this because it has been so long since I have actually been happy but I’ll give it a shot.  I’ll have to delve deep down into the dark, twisty places in my demented mind and see if I can find my G spot.  (For all you other demented minds out there, that means my “giggle” spot.)  I don’t even know what the G in that other spot stands for…”good” maybe?
Anyway, with a hitch in my gitty-up, here I go.

Five things that make me happy:

1. Talking to my RBS.  Due to certain circumstances, I don’t get to talk to her very often but when I do, it makes me very happy.  (It makes me particularly happy when she tells me about a faux pas that her boss commits.)

2.  It makes me happy when I don’t wake up dead.  If I did, I think it would be disturbing at best and would piss me the fuck off at worst.  (Now if I woke up dead next to Wentworth Miller, that would make me happy beyond my wildest dreams.)

3.  Although I no longer have a family, it makes me happy to think that when I did, I tried to do my best.  No, wait.  That makes me sad.  Oh, well.  I’ll pretend just for today.

4.  I am happy to be free, although it is tempered with loss.  Like I said, it was a Pyrrhic victory.  The line in the song “Bobby McGee” is perfect for me.  “Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.”

5.  It makes me happy to have my memory but it is also a curse.  I was praised when something needed to be remembered but criticized and accused of “never letting anything go” otherwise.  I could recite verbatim, the 12 page letter I wrote to Loser two years ago this month.  Once I hear it or write it, it is there forever.  Sometimes, I hate it but if given the choice of being “normal” or eidetic…I would still choose eidetic.
Yes, it’s wonderful to have such a remarkable memory.  (Oh, did I say that already?  I forgot.)

Five songs that make me happy:

1.  It doesn’t necessarily make me happy but it does make me giggle (hits the G spot), especially when I picture using “somebody” for alligator bait in the Louisiana bayou:  “Amos Moses” by Jerry Reed.

2.  I smile when I hear “Nights in White Satin” by the Moody Blues.  It reminds me of the boy I should have stayed with instead of leaving him for fucking Loser.

3.  A song that never fails to give me chills is “Amazing Grace” especially when accompanied by bagpipes.

4.  I could listen to “Nessun Dorma” sung by Luciano Pavarotti all day long.

5.  I think Adele has one of the most remarkable voices I have ever heard but she sings about love that is and was and I don’t believe in that shit anymore, so I don’t listen to her songs.  (I guess technically, that doesn’t make me happy but if I did listen to them, it would.)


I’ll add one more thing that makes me happy and that is all the wonderful supporters in my band of bloggies, who appreciate my dark, twisty stories, my sarcasm, my irreverent sense of humor and my fingernails.  Again, (in Elvis voice) “uh, thank you.  Uh, thank you very much!” 

Here are the bloggers I nominate to do this tag: