I took my profile down on that dating site today but not before I checked the nine new messages.
It still amazes me that these men can’t or won’t read and believe that a nice crotch shot will somehow pique my interest.
The latest one, I admit was fairly handsome but he was only 5′ 5″ tall and 59 years old. He sent a simple message of “Hi. How are you today?” His main interests are golfing, the beach and boating.
I’ve already been a golf widow. What part of “must be at least 6′ tall did you not understand…or bother to read?” What part of “I don’t care for water did you not understand…or bother to read?” So….I’m not too good today. My wants and needs have already been ignored.”
69 years old and stands 6′ 1″ tall. His interests are streaming music through his Bluetooth, since he just discovered Pandora. He says he doesn’t have any pets but loves animals of all kinds and actually likes animals more than he likes humans. He posted a nice crotch shot.
Okay. I don’t have a problem with Pandora. I actually have it but I can’t remember my password. Thanks for the crotch shot but I don’t need to see your package. If you had posted pictures of yourself barbecuing something on the spit, I might have suspected it was a date who didn’t quite measure up to an animal. Maybe if you searched “down under” you could meet a nice wallaby.
56 years old and is an inch shorter than I am in my stocking feet. His message was “Hi, gorgeous.” His interests are the beach and anything having to do with water. He is upfront when he says “if you are afraid to talk on the telephone, this is going to go NOWHERE and will be a waste of precious time.”
Hmm. Did you not notice my age? Obviously, you can’t (or won’t) read so forget the telephone conversation. If you can’t read, I would be suspicious that you could actually carry on a conversation and you’ve already wasted enough of MY precious time.
65 years old and depending on where you look, his height varies from 6′ to 6’1″. His message is “Hi. How was your weekend?” His interests aren’t specified but he says he doesn’t care how much money I have and he doesn’t “fee” his age.
I guess your height can vary, depending on whether or not you have on shoes. A typo can happen to anybody. You don’t care how much money I have? So….I could be just another WTC and you would pay my bills for me? Would I be obliged to pump up your ego and offer other benefits? Sorry. I’m not looking for a meal ticket.
This one is hilarious. 6′ 2″ tall. 56 years old and lives in New Jersey. His message was “it would be nice to get to know you.” He describes himself as a beach “bun.” He enjoys walking on the beach every day and his goal is to retire and do it full-time. He says “I like to eat.” He has no picture but says he is bald and separated from his wife.
New Jersey is a tad too far away. You’re separated? Maybe you should get divorced before you start looking for another woman. Don’t be a “loser.” Sorry, if you had bothered to read my profile you would know that I don’t care for the beach and I don’t even like hotdog buns, let alone beach buns.
65 years old. One inch taller than I am in my stocking feet. His message is a simple “Hello. Where u ?” His interests are the beach…the beach…and the beach. His last relationship lasted a whopping four years.
I think it clearly states on my profile where I am. It also states my height requirements. It also states that I am not a beach person. Since you can’t read, you can now boast that our “relationship” has lasted a whopping four minutes.
60 years old. 6′ 2″. He describes himself as a Hedonist. He is separated. His message is “I’d love to have you.” He doesn’t specify his interests but being a self-described Hedonist, I don’t think he needs to.
You’re not going to “have me.” I’ll say the same thing I said before. Again, don’t be a “loser.” Get a divorce before you start messaging other women that you’d like to “have them.” Are you like another “Loser” I know? Do you want to have another woman and still keep your wife? Crawl back into the pond where you belong.
52 years old. 5′ 11″ tall. His interests are dirt-bike riding, any and everything on the water and scuba diving. He is recently separated. He lives in New York. His message is “wow. You’re beautiful.”
I messaged that I lived nowhere near New York.
He messaged back saying “tell me where you live and I’ll move there IMMEDIATELY.
You may be an engineer but apparently you are just like everybody else. You can’t read. You’re recently separated. Don’t be a pig. Get a divorce before you start planning your next move.
This has really been interesting. It was a complete and total waste, save the humor it inspired. At least I found my high school friend there. He is going to call me tomorrow. I’ll see how that goes.
I really learned a lot about what these sites are about and they are obviously not for me.
Here endeth the lesson.