Laurel With Wolves – By Ogden Fahey

Ogden Fahey is a painter of ladies and other things.  Recently, he painted a picture of a woman with green eyes, named “Sweet Loretta.”  I teasingly commented that I loved her green eyes but my name wasn’t Loretta.

That comment led to his offer to paint me.  I sent him two pictures.

He responded, “those are amazing.  I had no idea you looked anything like that!”
Of course, being a curious woman, I asked what he thought I looked like.

The following is the hilarious response I received.

“I didn’t give it too much thought what you’d look like, cos I knew I had no idea, but I had 2 versions in mind.  1) A pretty, butch looking, manly type with dark eyes and a heavy brow, or 2) A bush-wacker type [who] lives in the woods, chases people off who come by, wears an old red dress, has bushy red hair to match!  Both pretty eccentric types, I don’t know much other than the characters in your stories, and that you come from the South, so I’d imagine you spit a lot of tobacco and blast people with an old shotgun if they try any ‘funny stuff’.”

I was laughing my eyes out.  Now, I do know that a lot of people think Southerners are “gun totin’, Republican votin’, cigarette smokin’ yahoos and there’s no gettin’ around that.
Sure, we flatten our “i’s” and drop our “g’s”.  We’re slow talkers and say things like “lawdy mercy, and bless your heart.”

But…not all of us.  Some of us would rather be put to death than end a sentence with a preposition, and using double negatives is just as bad.

I’ve lost a bit of my Southern drawl, due to having been dragged all over the states, but I’m still an i flattener and a g dropper.  I do own a gun but I don’t tote it around with me.  I don’t even know where it is.  As far as politics…that’s a definite conversation stopper.

I never discuss politics.  It’s too volatile.  Hell, it’s volatile when you don’t.

A few years ago, a friend of more than 30 years, ended our friendship…not because I disagreed with her political views, but because I told her again, that I was not going to discuss politics.  That led to the accusation; “you’re an ignorant, uneducated piece of trash, just like all the rest of those South Carolina assholes.”

(Whatevva did she mean?)

To clarify, her husband works in S. C. and she blames the folks in that state for just about everything that goes wrong in their lives.  Bless her heart.

I’m not from South Carolina, but I do agree that there are a few assholes there.  (Smiling wryly.)

Back to the pictures…I think the inclusion of the wolves is great.

Thanks Ogden!