Lizzie Borden took an axe,
And gave her mother forty whacks.
After he saw what she did,
Her father gave her forty quid.
“Thank you, thank you, little one,
For snuffing out that evil scum.
But now, you must be on the run.
Leave the axe and take the gun.
Your secret I will never tell,
Of how you sent your mum to Hell.
Your fingerprints will be erased,
From the axe that I’ll somehow misplace.
Again, I thank you Lizzie dear,
For killing that old hag.
All she ever did,
Was bitch, complain and nag.”
But what her father didn’t know,
Was he was ’bout to get a blow.
And dirty minds should be aware,
That we’re not talking ’bout “down there.”
Ole Lizzie whacked his face in half,
And glowing in the aftermath,
She heard him gurgle as she laughed,
And smiled, and spoke his epitaph.
She never did get caught, you see.
The townsfolk simply let her be.
She got her mansion on the hill,
With flowers on the window sill.
She lived alone and died the same,
But no one ever will forget,
Ole Lizzie Bordens’ name.
I love the poem. Hi from New Zealand. Hope all is well with you?
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Thanks! All is well. How about with you?
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I seem to be struggling with a lot of things lately but I have finished work for the year now and can relax a little. Always lots to do around the house.
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It can be a stressful time of year…especially with things like the virus running rampant. Relaxing is a good thing. Hope you have a wonderful holiday!
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Thank you, I will try. Hope you have a lovely Christmas.
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I will be sitting in my living room, watching “A Christmas Story,” drinking buttermilk out of a Waterford wine glass. Pure Heaven!
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I wish I could join you, have a merry Christmas
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You as well. 😊
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I won’t sleep tonight. But Happy Halloween, Laurel! 🙂
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Shoot Marty! If you’re whacked while you’re asleep..,you won’t know what gotcha! You’ll just wake up in the afterlife and think, “man…that was a long nap!” 😬👻🎃
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😂
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She’s such a curious figure, we all need to know more! Maybe a seance is in order? 😮 😮
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I don’t know about a seance, but there have been times when I wished I had that axe! Bwahahahaha!
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😀 😀 😀
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I cannot begin to tell you how much this delighted me. The deceptive familiarity of the beginning, and then we go off the rails, deliciously so. Well done, my friend. Well done. More, please.
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Thanks Brian. I’ll see what I can “stir” up. 😬
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