Home » A Wasted Life » Short Stories » The Dastardly Demise of That Demeantor Scorpion

The Dastardly Demise of That Demeantor Scorpion

In 1983, I moved from Pennsylvania to Texas. As usual, it was my job to put all of the furniture into its proper place, and unpack what seemed like a thousand boxes.

I was diligently doing my job, while trying to corral four children, all under the age of six.

I opened a box that had “kitchen” on it. Yay, I thought. Now I can have a cup of coffee! As I unwrapped the cups, one by one, I neatly folded the paper and put it back into the box. When I grabbed the last cup, I was carefully unwrapping it, and out of the corner of my little eye, I thought I saw something moving.

OH MY LUCY! There was a scorpion in the box. I had never seen one before (and have never seen one since.)

Luckily, I still had the cup in my hand, so I put it over the scorpion. Next, I gently slid a saucer under the cup and tinkered around with the idea that I would throw the scorpion into the toilet. But…what if it didn’t make all the way down to that little hole that eats poo-poo and other things it shouldn’t, and then the next time I peed, it stung my cooter? Or what if it crawled out and stung my little boy on his hooter? Toilet idea scratched.

My next idea was to just let it out of its china prison and then I would stomp on it. But…what if it scurried away really fast and I couldn’t get it? Then it would be loose in the house and we would all be in mortal danger.

Well…then an idea came to me.

I had been given a really nice microwave oven, but I had never used it. I was scared to death of it. I didn’t understand how it worked and I had heard horror stories about little old ladies putting their dogs in the microwave to dry them. (Didn’t work out very well for the little doggies.)

I couldn’t have my children in harms’ way…so I put the cup and saucer in the microwave and hit…something. I’m not sure what. Probably “cook.”

Sparks were flying everywhere in the microwave. Do scorpions have metal in them?

Anyway, Mr. Scorpion was pretty much toast, and I thought…”oh. So that’s what a microwave oven does.”

4 thoughts on “The Dastardly Demise of That Demeantor Scorpion

  1. Let this be known: You just made my day with this story. I know I (gently?) pushed you to do it, so it would have been just fine if you hadn’t done anything. (After all, I’m the king of promising a story and then never getting around to it.) But this had me giggling ALL the way through it. You’re just the bees knees.

    Side note: I just noticed that some of my comments on your “Ole Tin-tin” stories are missing. Not sure what happened there, and it happens all the time with my WordPress comments on other blogs, don’t know why, but I’ll try to go back through and add them back in, if I can remember whatever mess I typed before.

    Still giggling… 😉

    Like

    • (In Elvis voice…thank you. Thank you very much). LOL. I hope you can find “whatever mess you typed.” I’d like to see them. One of my followers gets all of my comments, but the only way I can see her response is to re-visit the past blogs. Grrr. And I can’t figure out this new block thing to save my life. I HATE IT. (frowny face).

      Like

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