Home » A Wasted Life » Murder Mysteries » Ah…How I Love To Play With Scammers

Ah…How I Love To Play With Scammers

Earlier today, I got a call.  I was going to answer my usual way when I don’t recognize a number, which is…”Erectile Dysfunction Hotline.  How may I direct your call?”  But it was an automated message;

“Hello.  My name is Kathy Jackson.  I am calling you from Microsoft refund department. Please do not hang up.  You have paid for your computer technical support a few months ago and we are calling to refund your money, as the company has been ordered to close down. Please call us on our toll free number 1-844-284-6148.”

Me:  Okay…let’s play.  Dialing number (after disguising mine.)  Called five times.  Finally, a man answers.

Him:  (In thick foreign accent.)  “Yes, may I help you?”

Me:  “I’m returning a call from Kathy Jackson.”

Him:  “Oh yes.  I am from Microsoft and you recently paid for technical support, yes?”

Me:  (Lying.)  “Why yes, I did.”

Him:  “Can you tell me please, how much did you pay?”

Me:  “$2000.00.”

Him:  (In surprised voice.)  “$2000.00?  Let me check on how much refund you will receive.”

Me:  “Great.  (In little girl voice)  But are they really shutting down?  That makes me so sad.”

Him:  “Yes, unfortunately.  You will get $299.00 back.  Now, are you near your computer?”

Me:  “Why, yes I am.”

Him:  “Okay, do you have Google Chrome?”

Me: (Lying again)  “No.  I have Firefox.”

Him:  “That’s okay.  Now go to the search bar and type in the following. (www.qsupport.us)

Me:  (Pretending that I did) ask, “shouldn’t that last part be .com?”

Him:  “No.  It should be .US.  Did you put address into your computer?”

Me:  “I did, but I want to talk about my money.  When do I get it?”

Him:  “As soon as you type in the address.  We will send you a form to fill out in order to receive your refund.”

Me:  “Oh, I see.  I’m a little confused though.  I’ve never done business with Microsoft, so I don’t understand why they’re sending me a refund. What is the name of the company again?”

Him:  “The Microsoft Rainbow Refund Department.”

Me:  (Laughing hysterically)  “And what is your name?”

Him:  My name is Jack Dawson.”

Me:  (Laughing even more hysterically)  “Seriously?  You are not going to believe this.  My name is Rose Dewitt Bukater!  What are the odds?!”

Jack:  “Did you put the address in the search bar?”

Me:  “No.  I’m ‘askeered’.”

Him:  (I don’t think he understood me, but that’s okay.  I didn’t understand most of what he was saying either.)  “Just put the address in the search bar so you can fill out the form for your refund.”

Me:  “I want my refund to come in the mail.”

Him:  “We can’t send it in the mail.  It must come through your computer.  Are you going to do what I ask or should I cancel the check?” 

Me:  (Talking faster than a frog dancing on a hotplate) “No.  Don’t do that. I want my refund, but I’d really prefer that you send it through the mail.  I mean…you can’t trust these pesky scammers these days.  They call from foreign countries and pretend to be American.  They’ll do anything to try to con people…hacking into computers and stealing identities, and God knows what else.  A lot of times, they want to infect your computer with a virus, and the worst is when they call and tell you that there are arrest warrants out for you, and you’re going to be put in handcuffs and toted off to jail.  Can you imagine?  I could just go on and on.  You know what I mean Jack?  But I want to talk about my money.  Jack?  Are you still there? Jack?”

Shucks.  And here I was…all ready to go out and buy myself a new bonnet.

 

 

 

 

 

13 thoughts on “Ah…How I Love To Play With Scammers

  1. You are delightfully evil!!!🤣 I love this and so wish I were quick-witted enough to do this when I receive unrecognized calls but I just don’t answer and then block them. Your way is so much more fun and I love the opening line “Erectile Dysfunction Hotline.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I got this exact call today (from a woman). She was super rude when I told her I only wrote down the website and would call her back after I checked the validity through Google Chrome support services. She said “Why are you worried? We’re not discussing personal information.” I said “Because I’m not about to give you access to my computer either you idiot!” I then hung up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I got one yesterday about the warranty expiring on my car.
      Some woman from India or somewhere (in broken English) wanted the year and make of my car.
      I said “you called me about the warranty expiring…you tell me the year and make of my car.” She kept repeating the “come on,” so I said, “you’re the one trying to scam me, so again…YOU tell ME the make and model of my car.”
      She hung up. LOL

      Liked by 1 person

    • If only. They’ll just use a different number the next time. The last time I checked my blocked calls list, it numbered in the hundreds…but you know, people still fall for it. Especially the elderly. These scammers make billions every year. Sigh.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Some young too. My friends girlfriend was shopping online and got that message “your PC has been infected.” Unfortunately she called the number provided and gave her credit card information. That’s why they still scam. 3 out of 10 will get scammed.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. *snicker* That’s hilarious! Since I turned off my land-line, those sorts of phone calls are rare, but I do get them now and then. That’s one nice thing about an ‘old’ cell phone, you can pretend it’s dying and you can’t hear them speaking. Once, when I did have my landline, I got a call from some ass trying some sort of scam and I made him so angry, he lost his ‘persona’ and his true nationality and colors came flying through. He was so mad he hung up. Maybe he was related to ‘Jack”. Yeah. heh heh heh

    Liked by 1 person

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