Home » A Wasted Life » Me And My Broken Back

Me And My Broken Back

Yep.  I have broken my back.  I heard it snap and said “oh shit.”

It’s no biggie.  I walked home when I broke my leg the first time.  It kept giving away and it hurt like a son-of-a-bitch but I didn’t care.  I was more afraid of the whipping I was going to get.  I have walked around with pneumonia and (thank the head Holy man) it was caught before I completely drowned.

It has been hurting since I did it but I have an extremely high tolerance for pain so I ignored it.  I’m not a big whiner.  I learned years ago that (a) it wouldn’t do any good and (b) it would make somebody mad and he would yell at me and make me feel even worse.

It’s funny, it didn’t bother me that much the day I did it but….holy cow! When I went to bed, I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t even turn over.  As long as I’m up and moving about, I’m fine (except for the constant, nagging throbbing.)  I was even able to mow my lawn.  (I have a riding mower so that wasn’t too bad.)

Consistent with my weird nature, most people find relief when they’re prone…but not me.  That’s the worst.  I can sit and walk with not much trouble but I have to be careful.  I tend to jump up from a chair and it has really impeded my ability to run the neighborhood dogs out of my yard.

I have to be careful if I cough or even worse…sneeze.

I finally went to the doctor because it seemed to be getting worse.  I knew it was inflamed and I have never been one to do the ice/heat thing.  I got the usual questions…why did you wait so long?  Why didn’t you call when you first did it?  Yada, yada, yada.

I refused any pain drugs and I think my doctor wanted to call me an idiot. But, if I was hopped up on drugs, there’s no telling what I might get up to. I might start waxing nostalgic and that’s just not something that’s in my repertoire.

I have taken an aspirin a few times but I couldn’t tell that it did much good.

My doctor wanted me to get a brace to wear but I told her I didn’t need it. She’s the cutest little woman and I think she genuinely cares about her patients but….when I said that, she raised her voice and said “you have a broken back!”

I got the brace and have been trying to wear it but it is ANNOYING.  I figure it will take a few weeks more to heal.  I remember all the times I looked after “somebody” when his back went out.  It’s my turn now but there’s nobody to look after me.  Figures.  Again, no biggie.  I will look after myself. Unlike that somebody, I’m not a big baby who thinks their finger is falling off because they have a hangnail.

It’s actually hurting right now so I think I’ll put that medieval torture device on and see if it helps.

90 thoughts on “Me And My Broken Back

  1. Some of us would happily wear a back brace if it gave us the ability to stand, much less walk. I know you are big and tough, but you have a chance to heal. I wish I had such a chance. Don’t throw it away by not following the Dr’s treatment plan.


    • If I sound cavalier, I apologize. I spent 41 years with a man who got mad when I was sick or hurt and screamed “when you’re out of commission, the business shuts down and that shit can’t happen.” The business of course was our marriage and running the house and taking care of the children. This was a man who slowed down long enough for me to get out of the car the day after knee surgery, wearing a brace from my ankle to my hip and knowing his dry cleaning had to be picked up and our four children had to be driven 26 miles to soccer practice that afternoon. He didn’t care. He would take off of work to go to the bar with the tramp of the week but he wouldn’t take off work to help me. I was never allowed to be sick or hurt…and I learned well. Never being allowed to actually care about myself is a hard habit to break.


  2. Annoying and temporary. Don’t be stupid. Wear it and heal. Please : you also tend to not value yourself and so you aren’t used to it. And… You spent years being abused and taught that you don’t deserve less pain. You’re wired to want it or accept it. But you’re worth healing. Love you momma


  3. Um sweetie…a hang nail and a broken back are not even in the same freakin’ category. One of them you can rip it off and maybe bleed a little for a while, it’ll sting, but the skin will grow back very shortly and nothing much is damaged. The second? You could end up paralyzed. Unlikely, but POSSIBLE. Don’t mess around with back damage. Would it be better to endure the brace or to be consigned to a wheelchair and the sure knowledge that the fuckin’ government doesn’t give a shit about whether you can get necessary help or not? I’d choose the damn brace. My cousin has chronic back problems – something involving spinal fusion a few years back and recently a bulged disc and nerve pinching that rendered her immobile – literally. She could NOT stand up. I, like you, despise being dependent on someone and I tend to pooh-pooh any suggestions that my health problems might be worse than I think they are. I can’t take pain pills, and even if I do, they have little effect. But I know I’m pretty stupid when it comes to taking care of me. I don’t want to see you be the same way! Take care! Wear the damn brace okay? It’s only for a while, even if it is a pain in the ass.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ha. The doctors’ office called already. The nurse asked if I was wearing the brace and asked if I had changed my mind about some pain meds. I told her “yes. I’m wearing the brace and no I don’t need any drugs.” Then I told her that I was fixin’ to go help a neighbor dig up some Wisteria.
      Dead silence. I started laughing and told her that I was just kidding and I was being a good girl. She reminded me that I could severely damage my spine if I didn’t take care it it. Blah, blah, blah.
      It’s funny. Every time I get sick or hurt myself, I remember how Loser reacted. There’s a line in Platoon where the asshole Sargent puts his hand over a soldiers’ mouth and yells “SHUT UP AND TAKE THE PAIN.” That’s what I heard when I was in labor (not that I was yelling) and by default, when he got so mad at me for getting sick or hurt…that’s what he was saying. I learned well.


    • I’m not a mom anymore…but I sure did my share of taking care of everybody else….children…ex-worthless husband. Hmmm…wonder where those people are now? Oh…that’s right. Taking care of somebody else. LOL.


  4. As a lifelong chronic back pain sufferer, I agree, painkillers don’t actually kill the pain, just make you drowsy or hype you up, but you do need to wear the brace or you risk doing further, more permanent damage. You really do need to take care or you won’t be taking that road trip any time soon, and I do so want to read about it 😊💐

    Liked by 2 people

    • That’s exactly what my doctor said. It was more like “don’t be a stubborn jackass. Wear the brace or you’ll end up spending the rest of your life in the bed.”
      I’ve just never let illness or injury get the better of me. Shucks, when I tore my ACL, I was playing soccer six weeks after my surgery. That was partly because I had to keep doing everything I was doing before…toting the children around…cooking, doing laundry….Loser sure as hell wasn’t going to help.

      Liked by 2 people

      • That’s the point, you are not used to being looked after and expected to carry on carrying on, so you don’t take care of yourself. But if you don’t who will? You have to take care of your body, it’s your home, it’s your physical and spiritual space, it’s you. Feed it, nurture it and you will reap the rewards – a wonderful adventure with your friend among other things 😊💜


        • I admit that I do “forget” to take care of myself and I try to be cognizant when crawling around on the roof or something. There is nobody around to help me or take care of me. I’ll be okay. I’m a quick healer…mainly because I’ve always had to be. LOL

          Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh my gosh!!!! That school buddy beau needs to come take care of you and do the mowing! Really you need to take it easy and take your aspirin for the inflammation. I hope you at least we’re doing something fun that caused your back to break! If​ you need me holler! Sending you hugs whether you want them or not! Lol😘

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh no Sis, a broken back… I have a herniated disk that feels like a giant throbbing toothache and I get in the bed and cry some days. Girlllll, I guess I’m that whiner, lol. Sis, I can’t imagine having a broken back and so proud you even took the time to write this post. I’m proud because I know the pain from a herniated disk, so I know you going through one hell of a pain. Pain pills does help but they can be so addicting, so I had to cut back. Wish I could make your pain go away. Sending big hugs your way and please be careful…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh my goodness! Can the doctors do anything for you?
      I have never taken pain pills. I ran over my toe with my grand piano once and my doctor strong-armed me into taking pain pills. They didn’t help my pain and I was up for two days. My mama was the same way. Anything that’s supposed to make you drowsy, revved us up.
      I’m taking it easy…staying up way too late because I don’t want to go to bed, though. 😞
      Sending big hugs back to you sis! 😘

      Liked by 1 person

              • I have come close to death 7 times now and have been saved my the Lord each time. Seems like He doesn’t want me up there yet. I guess I just need a break from all the stuff happening but then who doesn’t. I’m sure that He is watching over you in one way or another.

                Liked by 1 person

                  • Just remember that if He stepped in and stopped us doing everything that was wrong we would have no free will and would hate it or if He saved us from every situation and we were never hurt in any way or never lacked anything then it would be easy to think that we would never need to rely on Him or pray to Him. The things He allows us to go through are never easy as I have found out, also a lot of them are our own doing. I know that for sure but He has to allow us to have free will so that we can choose to love Him. It can be tricky to figure out I guess but He does do amazing things if we keep praying and relying on Him.

                    Liked by 1 person

                    • I understand and I applaud your faith. I used to have faith but no more. I will never understand how He can allow somebody to endure so much torture in a lifetime. I have worn my knees off, praying to somebody who always said no.
                      He needs to concentrate on more worthy people. He seems to protect and “give” to the very ones who abuse others. So be it. I’m mad at Him.


                    • There is no easy answer except for asking the Lord Himself. I have seen bad people (to put it politely) and Christians who seem to have been given everything they want whereas I have lost so much in every sense of the phrase and suffered much. The only thing I have left to give me some hope is the Lord. I will pray for you and I guess we will see that will happen. I would like you to read this verse and remember how awesome our God is. Psalm 147 4 He counts the number of the stars; He calls them all by name.
                      5 Great is our Lord, and mighty in power;
                      His understanding is infinite.
                      Take care my friend. xoxo


            • I don’t pray anymore…not for myself or anybody else. I got tired of the answer always being no…and I proverbially almost wore my knees out. I leave that praying business up to everybody else.


  7. I “liked” this thought I don’t, lol. Just helping your stats. 😜 You declined to tell me about the broken back! WTH? Much more important than that other crap. Lol. You have to tell me how you did it? I can imagine ways to do it, but none of them really works when I consider whose back is broken! That’s serious stuff. I hope you’ll take it easy. Put on Prison Break and relax into the recliner. I would say move Wentworth closer to you, but your back is broken. Geezus.🌹🌺🌸🌼🌻


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