Home » A disease-Giving Husband » Court…and My Guilty Pleasure

Court…and My Guilty Pleasure

#4 and I went to court today…again.  It just blows my hair back.  The courtroom is not much bigger than my living room and there are absolutely no metal detectors nor do they x-ray your purse.

The first time we went, I told #4 that I could have brought an Uzi or a dirty bomb in there and nobody would have known.

The judge is a character.  There were children (17, 18, 20, etc.) who were caught speeding, failing to yield and the worst…smoking pot.  He did as much as he could for the speeders and failures to yield but he had no leverage for the pot smokers and they were the youngest.  There were some pretty steep fines and all he could do was give them time to pay.

When it was #4s turn to stand before him, the officer recommended that the penalty be negligible due to co-operation.  The judge threw it out with no fine.

We got home and I said the wrong thing to him.  I know he’s delighted that Loser and I are communicating but I reminded him that we were never going to be friends.  That set him off and he walked out and slammed the door.

I know he’s struggling but I told him that all I have ever wanted was the same treatment and respect that all four of them afford to Loser.  They say anything they want to me, hang up on me, scream at me and call me crazy but I am absolutely not going to stand for it anymore.  I told #4 that he and Loser would NEVER be having this conversation.  He knows I’m right and more than once I have told him that if he is going to treat me like a dog, he needs to call Loser and tell him to come fetch him.

Now, for the “are you fucking kidding me?  Just as we suspected…she has lost her mind.”

I was cruising on the internet one day, trying to see if anybody had posted a sneak peek about the new season of Prison Break.  (It’s no secret that I think Wentworth Miller is the most beautiful man who ever walked Earth.)  I don’t know how I happened on it but I saw a blurb about the “suit that Michael Scofield was buried in.”

WHAT?  I clicked on it and it took me to Ebay.  I’ve done Ebay before but I figured it was a scam so of course, I visited the site.  It was an auction place but at that point, I had obviously NOT lost my mind so I Googled it to see if it was legit…and it was.

I looked at the auction and the suit was listed for $29.95 or something like that.  I thought “hey, I’d pay thirty dollars for it” and didn’t think anything more about it.

I had been through the wringer with #4 and after I checked to see if he was on my porch, for some reason that auction popped into my head.  I looked it up and there was 2 hours left.  There had been only one bidder and it was up to $31.00.  I was still okay with that price.

The more I looked at it, the more I wanted it.  I thought about bidding up to $1,000.00, thinking that would surely be high enough to beat even a $50.00 bid.  Then I thought I had better bid more, to make sure that I got it.  Finally, I decided to pick a ridiculous number and it came out the clear blue sky.

Ta-fucking-da!  I won it!  The next step was to buy a mannequin…so the search was on.  It had to be the same height as Wentworth, because the suit was custom-made for him.

I ordered a mannequin and when it came, #4 helped me put it together.  He was HEAVY!

I got the jacket, pants, shirt, tie and even the shoes he wore. They included tags that say “custom-made for Wentworth Miller” and cardboard tags that say “Michael.”  I have a picture of them “dressing him” when he died.  It shows them tightening up his tie.

No panties or socks, though.  I had a pair of socks and we put them on.  I didn’t have any panties so, he’s going to have to freeball it.  I made sure his fly was down so I could walk by and cop a feel now and then.  (Not really.)

He’s only scared the shit out of me four or five times so far.  The first time, I screamed and #4 came running in to see what was wrong.  I thought about putting him in my bedroom but I was afraid I would wake up in the middle of the night and shoot him so I decided to put him in my office.

It had been a long time since something made me smile as much as that suit did.

Thanks Wentworth.  πŸ™‚

33 thoughts on “Court…and My Guilty Pleasure

  1. You need to wear Miller’s clothes when you go to the nutty neighbors Church! Ha! I laughed​ out loud when I read you screamed because “he” scared you. You are cracking me up again tonight!

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  2. Haha! That’s great! You totally need to take a picture of it and put it in a post!!! πŸ˜‚
    And im glad to hear you’re sticking up for yourself. You deserve all the respect and curtesy they give to him, even though you are waaaaaay more deserving of it. πŸ’™

    Liked by 1 person

      • That is normal. It usually takes people time to get used to new boundaries and they react badly to them at first until they realize you aren’t going to budge

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        • I know but he has a few of Losers’ traits. Blow up, spew out vile venom and later, say something like “hi. How are you doing?” They think because they have forgotten it or worse, you are not worthy of respect, you should be “over it.” Never has worked with me…and never will.
          I hope Loser comes through for him.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. This still cracks me up. But I do so enjoy imagining the smile on your face! As for #4, maybe he’ll learn from this that he is important enough for you to set aside your righteous hatred of his father to do what needs to be done for #4. I hope he can accept that it was only a short-term break and perhaps see, once he’s sober for a bit, just how hard it was for you to do that. It would be nice if he could see what an act of love it was towards him, for you to let go of all the shit Loser dished out to you for the benefit of #4.

    I know you don’t like hugs, but sending them anyway. Lol. πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸŒ·

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    • I’m not sure he has the maturity to realize that. I have thought about asking him if he had the slightest clue how difficult this was for me but he would take it as an attack on Loser. I suggested that he ask Loser to buy his cigarettes for him. NO! Of course he would never ask him…because he’s afraid of him…Sigh.
      Thanks for the cyber hugs. (I finally did tell #4 that it made me uncomfortable when he hugged me. I said “I just don’t like to be touched.”) He ignores me and hugs me anyway. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

    • He has a difficult time. Loser now feels comfortable enough to suggest that I start doing the “necessities” that he was doing. I put my foot down (and irritated #4) when I said “absolutely not.” I have been to court with him twice. He has two more scheduled appearances and I told him that Loser can go with him to those. #4 said “they” thought I was his “good luck charm.” That’s Losers’ way of pawning it off on me. Not going to happen. I know…I’m a bitch.

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  4. Thats hilarious! I never heard of this guy, I just googled him and the most popular search for Michael Scofield is “wife” So it looks like he’s in demand!

    I was just wondering about this archaeologist on TV, (an attractive female as it happens) and the most popular search for her name fills out as “Husband” Stuff like that makes me laugh! I was just wondering who she was – honestly!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, yeah. Michael Scofield is married to a hag on the show. Nobody likes her. LOL (That’s mean, I know.) Even my son doesn’t like her.
      You should probably Google Wentworth Miller. πŸ™‚
      And….who is this archaeologist who has caught your eye?

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