Home » A disease-Giving Husband » Pissed Off Doesn’t Describe It

Pissed Off Doesn’t Describe It

When I was trying to deal with my drunk son, I asked him if he wanted to go back to Florida.  He said he did, so I told him I would ask Loser to buy a ticket for him.

#4 said “dad doesn’t have any money.”  I laughed and said “seriously?”  #4 said “yeah.”  I asked him who the hell told him that.  #4 said “he did.”  I told him that we both know what a liar he is and it just wasn’t true. #4 said “the last time I saw him (which was a couple of months ago) he told me that he didn’t have any money.”

I told him that he may not have as much money as he did before because he was having to pay somebody’s taxes and tuition and bills but for him not to believe for one minute that “poor old Loser” didn’t have any money.

Last week I called #3 and asked if I sent her a message, would she forward it to Loser.  I told her that I was going to ask him if he would buy #4 a bus ticket and wanted her to send it to him.  She said “no, mom.  I am not going to be the mediator between you and dad.”  I was disappointed but I said okay and emailed him.

He did agree to buy #4 a bus ticket.  I explained a bit about what had gone on with #4.

I had to make #4 leave last Tuesday but wrote down Losers’ phone number for him.  It was all I could do to keep from almost breaking as I watched him walk down the street but I just couldn’t allow him to stay anymore.

I expected him to be on my porch the next day but he wasn’t, nor was he there the day after.  I asked #3 if she had heard from him.  I called his AA buddies and asked if they had heard from him.

I would have rather been ripped apart by a pack of wild animals than have to communicate with Loser again, but I finally emailed him and asked him if by any chance #4 had called him about the ticket.  I told him I had called everybody I knew, had gone to all the bars and I couldn’t find him anywhere.  I told him that he had stitches that needed to come out before they grew into his skin and nobody seemed to know anything.  I told him that I was worried to death.

I got a message from Loser through #3.  Loser had been in touch with #4 the whole time.  Apparently #4 has been through detox, is getting medical attention and is staying sober.  Loser says he sees him every day.

When I read that message, I was beyond livid.  I was outraged…for two reasons.  Loser knew that I was scared out of my mind about #4 and never said a word.  A week….A WEEK….went by and he never said a word.

#3 passed on that message from Loser.  SHE DID SOMETHING FOR HIM THAT SHE REFUSED TO DO FOR ME.

She called me the day after she forwarded the message and I let her have it with all fifteen barrels.  I told her that I was sick to death of the double standards that apply to me…and that piece of shit, his trailer trash family and his parasites.

I reminded her that she talks about how much she hates my mama because of the way she treated me.  HIS mama treated me just as bad…but it’s okay. His daddy was a yellow-bellied, lilly-livered coward who allowed that drunk woman and his drunk son to abuse me unmercifully, but again…it was okay.

I said “you forwarded a message from Loser to me but you wouldn’t forward one from me to him.”  I asked her why she didn’t say “no dad.  I’m not going to be the mediator between you and mom.  Why don’t you grow a set and send her the information?”

She didn’t have an answer and it turned into a screaming match with her reminding me that “she has always been on my side.”  A few minutes later, she hung up on me.

She should have refused to be the go-between for both of us…not just one of us.  There was obviously not a second of hesitation on her part when it came to what her precious fucking daddy asked…but there was instant refusal when it came to what her mom asked.

Why is that?  Is it because mom has never been and will never be as important as their fucking “dad?”  Is it because even in their late thirties and early forties, they are still more afraid of Loser?  I think he’d have a hard time getting away with knocking them around now but he can still make them feel like shit with his nasty comments and vile texts.

#4 told me that when he had come up to stay with Loser for a while, he (Loser) slammed him down on the ground and had his hand around his neck.  He said he thought he had given him a concussion.

What a memory for a son to have about his “father.”  In the same conversation, #4 said he remembered when Loser was dragging #3 down the hall by her hair.  He said I wasn’t there but #1 was trying to get him to let go.

I asked #3 if she remembered and she said “vaguely but what I remember most is when dad called me a whore.”

I wonder what the WTC would think if she heard these stories about how he treated his children.  I imagine he would either deny them or tell her that he had “reached the end of his rope” and of course, “would regret it for the rest of his life.”  That’s his go-to response when he cannot deny his barbaric, volatile behavior.

Actually, I don’t think she would care.  She already knows that he’s a liar and a cheater but as long as he keeps writing checks (that don’t bounce like somebody else’s did) she’ll overlook anything.

Or better yet, they would probably collectively blame me for not raising them right.  It would have to be somebody’s….anybody’s fault besides his.

He did tell the court that although he was the “loudest,”  I instigated every fight that was ever had.  (I would laugh at that if it wasn’t so fucking pathetic.)

I guess I started fights when I was drunk…oh, wait.  He was the one who was always drunk…but I guess that’s my fault too.  What a horrible person I am…and don’t forget.  I’m “insane.”

I actually agree with that assessment.  I would have to have been insane to have stayed with a maggot like him for as long as I did.  Guilty as charged.

I hope #4 is in a rehab facility somewhere.  I can’t imagine that he is being allowed to stay at the WTCs’ house.  I hope he will be successful this time but mostly, I hope he isn’t being poisoned by Loser and that WTC.  He wants nothing more than to be close to Loser and if that means believing everything he says, he will and Loser will be triumphant.

Will it be worth having another child believe his (their) lies if #4 can stay sober?  Yes it will.

 

 

 

 

 

61 thoughts on “Pissed Off Doesn’t Describe It

  1. The experiences your children have described to you at the hands of Loser sound smashingly similar to what I remember about my father growing up, yet, for some reason everyone stills goes to bat for him. You just want the validation that you mean something, that you’re not crazy or insane, but they still go to bat for him for whatever reason they do and that hurts. I have experienced this with my siblings and my father and with my own children and my cheating husband. It hurts me too. It makes me angry too. I understand so much the rage you were feeling in that moment. I am thankful your son is getting the help he needs. I am so sorry you had to worry and wonder for so long. You did not deserve that and it must have been very hard.

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  2. I’m so glad your son is safe. The nerve of (Loser) lie and say he didn’t know where your son was. I know that was real scary for you. So sorry you had to experience that kind of hell… 😦

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  3. Oh Laurel, this angers me to read! You are totally in the right to be livid. I’m glad your son is safe for now, even though he’s with that sad excuse for a human being

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  4. Oh Laurel, I feel and hear your pain in every single solitary word you wrote. I’m so sorry. I can relate and understand where you’re coming from. Let’s hope someday they will wake up but if they don’t that’s on them not you! You don’t deserve to be treated like shit or to be disrespected. You don’t need that drama in your life. It seems to me that kids are drawn to the parent who needs attention. The one that can’t handle their own shit. I don’t know why it’s that way but it is. You keep doing what you think is right, period. You know what’s inside your heart. I’m praying for you and #4, #3, #2, and #1. Of course YOU! Luv u~MOOOAHπŸ’‹

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    • Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. My son actually came by yesterday. He was sober and a little hesitant to tell me much but apparently Loser is putting him up in a hotel. Loser brought him by. #4 looked well. He had been in the hospital and Loser has been taking him to appointments. It’s exactly what #4 needs. He needs attention from his daddy. The only thing that bothers me is that I’m afraid Losers’ attention is pretentious. He needs to impress that WTC…but if it ultimately helps my son, then let the pretentiousness continue. πŸ™‚

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      • Laurel, let me tell you something. You and I have a connection and I know time gets away from us but I care about you! This blog has been such a blessing to me in so many ways. It’s sad that I have deeper connections with complete strangers as opposed to my own fucking family. But I’ll take you every day of the week. We are all here for one reason or another and also to support each one. I’m happy you told me this. Keep trucking sister❀️

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  5. Loser amazes me at the depths of deplorable he lowers himself to. Making you wait so long to find out about your son is awful. Karma has a way of smacking them down to size, just ask my ex. I am happy to hear your son is getting help though, I know you are relieved. As for as your daughter, I wish she was brave enough to take up for you. I’m sending hugs and warm thoughts to help you through their latest shenanigans. They truly need to give you a break.πŸ’›

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  6. My take on#3 is that she can’t be herself with her father, and is still afraid of him, so is too intimidated by just talking to him to say no to him. She can be herself with you so she tells you what she feels.

    I sure hope he’s safe, where ever he is, and that he’s sober. Even if not forever, for while. Your ex, you know how I feel about him. πŸ˜€πŸ˜–πŸ˜‘

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    • I hope he is too. As far as #3, she needs to grow a pair. So does #4. If for once, one of them would say to him what they say to me…things might change…but they won’t so things will forever be the same. I am not going to deal with it anymore. Stand up and roar…or just sit there and keep your mouth shut…like I did for years.

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      • Yeah I get that. I remember saying to my son, “how can you defend him like that??? You lived there!!! You know how it was!!!” He couldn’t answer. He could never do anything that didn’t support his father, he was terrified to have his fathers temper directed at him. But I guess I got lucky, he finally, instead of standing up to him, walked away from him. And now his refusal to talk to him is his way I guess, of standing up to him. Maybe someday one of them will. Hope so, for you and for them.

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    • “Learning to Live” pretty much took the words right out of my… ‘er, fingers. πŸ™‚ I see this very same dynamic that you experienced with #3 with a step-child of mine. There is fear and intimidation towards the father, but the gloves come off completely when dealing with my wife.

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  7. F**k me sideways. Why would he leave you worried sick, and not tell you he had been in touch with #4? Smh. I wish your son the best with the detox. He can do it. Just needs will power. Sending love and hugs your way. xo

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  8. πŸ™sorry about that LaurelπŸ™hopefully he will get sober and stay sober and hopefully in the process he will get his senses back and see Loser for who he is and always was, I hope they all will any day soon, at least as an outsider it’s a wonder they haven’t stood up for you already. Sorry for your pain, may you be given something great for everything you’ve been and still go through ❀️

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    • Thank you. They know who and what Loser is…but he’s still their “daddy.” It’s much easier to turn their backs on me than him. I was always there…no big loss. They have a chance to have him in their lives now…they don’t care if he’s a scumbag adulterer.

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      • Since you were always there, always doing everything, it should in fact be the greatest of losses. What could he possibly give them that they perceive as good, it seems he only bring turmoil, division, pain and hatred. I don’t get it, although to be fair I never was in their shoes either. Maybe it’s more about the fear of being isolated from the rest of the flock.

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        • That could be. I know my former sister-in-law prefaced every single conversation with “I can’t get in the middle of this.” There never was a middle. There was always her…that drunken mama, the spineless father and the brothers on one side of the room and I was on the other side…all by myself. Of course, my former sister-in-law never shrank from calling a spade a spade…behind the drunks’ back. Everybody knew she was an abusive drunk but they all turned a blind eye. It was much easier to label me as a bitch than admit they had a terrorist for a matriarch.

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  9. Hi Laurel,

    #3 has always been on your side. #4 needed your help and he WILL remember that you were there for him always.

    Loyalty to parents works in strange ways. My experience is that children, regardless of age, chose the “weakest” parent to show the most loyalty to.

    Not insane, I never ever thought you to be insane, hurt, betrayed, bitter and deeply sad and I get that.

    Love
    Elisabeth

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  10. For your ‘kid’ to stay sober perhaps it IS worth all that, but I hope more that YOU heal. That waste of skin, and those losers (all of them) don’t deserve any more of your time or thought. BUT I know that, because four of them are your children, you won’t shut THEM out. I just hope for the best for YOU is all. The rest of your ‘family’? I honestly couldn’t care less what happens to any of them, but I’m glad you are getting all this out of your system by writing about it. Take care dear!

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    • I imagine if #4 can stay sober, anything is worth that. I can and have shut my children out. I’m just not going to be treated like somebody who doesn’t matter. I’m okay with it. If Loser and that WTC are the kind of people they want in their lives…more power to them.

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