When I was trying to deal with my drunk son, I asked him if he wanted to go back to Florida. He said he did, so I told him I would ask Loser to buy a ticket for him.
#4 said “dad doesn’t have any money.” I laughed and said “seriously?” #4 said “yeah.” I asked him who the hell told him that. #4 said “he did.” I told him that we both know what a liar he is and it just wasn’t true. #4 said “the last time I saw him (which was a couple of months ago) he told me that he didn’t have any money.”
I told him that he may not have as much money as he did before because he was having to pay somebody’s taxes and tuition and bills but for him not to believe for one minute that “poor old Loser” didn’t have any money.
Last week I called #3 and asked if I sent her a message, would she forward it to Loser. I told her that I was going to ask him if he would buy #4 a bus ticket and wanted her to send it to him. She said “no, mom. I am not going to be the mediator between you and dad.” I was disappointed but I said okay and emailed him.
He did agree to buy #4 a bus ticket. I explained a bit about what had gone on with #4.
I had to make #4 leave last Tuesday but wrote down Losers’ phone number for him. It was all I could do to keep from almost breaking as I watched him walk down the street but I just couldn’t allow him to stay anymore.
I expected him to be on my porch the next day but he wasn’t, nor was he there the day after. I asked #3 if she had heard from him. I called his AA buddies and asked if they had heard from him.
I would have rather been ripped apart by a pack of wild animals than have to communicate with Loser again, but I finally emailed him and asked him if by any chance #4 had called him about the ticket. I told him I had called everybody I knew, had gone to all the bars and I couldn’t find him anywhere. I told him that he had stitches that needed to come out before they grew into his skin and nobody seemed to know anything. I told him that I was worried to death.
I got a message from Loser through #3. Loser had been in touch with #4 the whole time. Apparently #4 has been through detox, is getting medical attention and is staying sober. Loser says he sees him every day.
When I read that message, I was beyond livid. I was outraged…for two reasons. Loser knew that I was scared out of my mind about #4 and never said a word. A week….A WEEK….went by and he never said a word.
#3 passed on that message from Loser. SHE DID SOMETHING FOR HIM THAT SHE REFUSED TO DO FOR ME.
She called me the day after she forwarded the message and I let her have it with all fifteen barrels. I told her that I was sick to death of the double standards that apply to me…and that piece of shit, his trailer trash family and his parasites.
I reminded her that she talks about how much she hates my mama because of the way she treated me. HIS mama treated me just as bad…but it’s okay. His daddy was a yellow-bellied, lilly-livered coward who allowed that drunk woman and his drunk son to abuse me unmercifully, but again…it was okay.
I said “you forwarded a message from Loser to me but you wouldn’t forward one from me to him.” I asked her why she didn’t say “no dad. I’m not going to be the mediator between you and mom. Why don’t you grow a set and send her the information?”
She didn’t have an answer and it turned into a screaming match with her reminding me that “she has always been on my side.” A few minutes later, she hung up on me.
She should have refused to be the go-between for both of us…not just one of us. There was obviously not a second of hesitation on her part when it came to what her precious fucking daddy asked…but there was instant refusal when it came to what her mom asked.
Why is that? Is it because mom has never been and will never be as important as their fucking “dad?” Is it because even in their late thirties and early forties, they are still more afraid of Loser? I think he’d have a hard time getting away with knocking them around now but he can still make them feel like shit with his nasty comments and vile texts.
#4 told me that when he had come up to stay with Loser for a while, he (Loser) slammed him down on the ground and had his hand around his neck. He said he thought he had given him a concussion.
What a memory for a son to have about his “father.” In the same conversation, #4 said he remembered when Loser was dragging #3 down the hall by her hair. He said I wasn’t there but #1 was trying to get him to let go.
I asked #3 if she remembered and she said “vaguely but what I remember most is when dad called me a whore.”
I wonder what the WTC would think if she heard these stories about how he treated his children. I imagine he would either deny them or tell her that he had “reached the end of his rope” and of course, “would regret it for the rest of his life.” That’s his go-to response when he cannot deny his barbaric, volatile behavior.
Actually, I don’t think she would care. She already knows that he’s a liar and a cheater but as long as he keeps writing checks (that don’t bounce like somebody else’s did) she’ll overlook anything.
Or better yet, they would probably collectively blame me for not raising them right. It would have to be somebody’s….anybody’s fault besides his.
He did tell the court that although he was the “loudest,” I instigated every fight that was ever had. (I would laugh at that if it wasn’t so fucking pathetic.)
I guess I started fights when I was drunk…oh, wait. He was the one who was always drunk…but I guess that’s my fault too. What a horrible person I am…and don’t forget. I’m “insane.”
I actually agree with that assessment. I would have to have been insane to have stayed with a maggot like him for as long as I did. Guilty as charged.
I hope #4 is in a rehab facility somewhere. I can’t imagine that he is being allowed to stay at the WTCs’ house. I hope he will be successful this time but mostly, I hope he isn’t being poisoned by Loser and that WTC. He wants nothing more than to be close to Loser and if that means believing everything he says, he will and Loser will be triumphant.
Will it be worth having another child believe his (their) lies if #4 can stay sober? Yes it will.