Home » A disease-Giving Husband » R.I.P. Chucky

R.I.P. Chucky

As I was driving home after having been trapped by hurricane Matthew, I remember being mindful that I would not take any of my suitcases or bags inside my house.

I had stayed in the Roach Motel for five nights and I was sure one of those dastardly little creatures had somehow weaseled their way into my belongings.  When I finally made it home, I hurriedly toted all the contents of my car straight into my house.  (I’m citing temporary insanity and eagerness to be at home.)

Sure enough, when I was emptying a plastic bag which held some of my dirty clothes, Chucky (a vile, nasty Palmetto bug) scurried out!  I tried to catch him but he was too fast and that little fucker made it into the kitchen.

I opened my back door and shook out all the rest of my clothes, determined to not allow Chuckys’ wife and children to take up residence in my house.

For the next several weeks, when I went into the kitchen at night and turned on the light, there was Chucky…sitting on the top of my dishwasher door….like he owned it!

He was taunting me….laughing at me while he wiggled his antenna and it looked as if they were keeping time as he mockingly sang “na na na na na…I’m in your house now!”

I don’t have any bug spray because I don’t have any bugs (except the occasional stinkbug that finds its way inside when it starts getting cold and believe me…they are called stinkbugs for a reason.)

I have heard that those little cocksucking Palmetto bugs multiply faster than rabbits.  Every night, he would be sitting there…laughing at me.  He might as well have had Leonardo DiCaprio’s face because he was obviously saying “catch me if you can” and I’m sure he was simultaneously sticking his tongue out at me.

I got my fly swatter out and took a swing at him but he scurried under the counter above the dishwasher.  He was bold…this one.  I think he had done this before.  After my futile attempts with the fly swatter, he didn’t even bother to run anymore…he knew he was too fast….or I was too slow.  He just sat there…watching me.  I think I heard him call me an idiot but I’m not sure.

Last night, Chucky was there again….interrupting my mental affair with Wentworth Miller, who was planning his prison break.  Once again, I got my trusty fly swatter but this time I didn’t swing.  I crept close, which was easy as Chucky was secure in his agility and Houdini-like expertise at escape.  Instead of swinging, I swept the fly swatter along the top of the door and off he came!

With one mighty stomp, Chucky was reduced to a blob of wings, antennae and guts on the kitchen floor!  I grabbed a paper towel, scooped up his remains and did a happy dance all the way to the garbage can.  Now I was the one doing the taunting and laughing.  “I knew I’d eventually get you, you little fucker,” I said.

R.I.P. Chucky.  Your ancestors might survive a nuclear holocaust but you won’t be around!

41 thoughts on “R.I.P. Chucky

  1. God I hate those things The first week I was here I had twoin my kitchen one night. I put out traps and I’ve only seen one since. They totally grossed me out. I’m afraid to step on them they make such a mess, they are so freaking big. I’m glad you finally got the better of him. I’ve been putting bug spray and palmetto bug killer and ant killer all around my house. You have my total sympathy and I’m cheering you on forgetting him.

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  2. Brrr 😨 I hate bugs! At least the big ones. One night in a hotel in Thailand there was a roach the size of a mini van inside the bathroom, I swear I didn’t sleep at all that night (there wasn’t any hotel staff at reception at night), and the next morning I went straight to the front desk and asked them to remove it and use the strongest stuff they had, to try and keep the room clear of any more invaders… I couldn’t change hotels either so I didnt sleep well at all during that stay. But in other hotels I didnt see any more roaches. In many places there were those little mini lizards though, running up the walls. (Gecko?) I dont remember the name. I didnt mind the lizards that much though, they were actually kind of cool. Good for you for killing “Chucky”, especially since he was so cocky! 🙂

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    • Ha. When Loser went to Japan, there was a huge bug who lived in the shower. They were considered good luck and patrons were forbidden to kill them. YUK!
      I used to have those little lizards now and then in Florida. They never bothered me…until I found one of their little skeletons 😦

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                  • Oh, I saw that you commented on the post “The Nerd”, but on the post “Timber” (about a lumberjack), I only saw a “like” from you. I just wondered/thought that maybe you made some comment that didn’t show anywhere, since we both had some problems with WP. So I didnt mean that you have to comment, just to be clear.😁 Just wondering if something disappeared. Oh well. That’s life in WP world. Lol. 🙂

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                    • I gave a whole “didn’t Lizzy Borden wield a pretty mean axe, too?” LOL
                      Something else about “appreciating nature…when he wasn’t chopping it down”….just funning with ya.
                      I think there’s something kind of sexy about a lumberjack….you know…Paul Bunyon type…just might raise an eyebrow if he shows up with Babe, the blue ox! LOLOL
                      BTW…I just got a call from my financial planner. He told me not to worry….I would probably lose a bit short term, if Trump was elected…and long term if Hillary was. Lose…lose, I’m thinking

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                    • Hahaha! Ok 🙂 Yes I am torn, I can think “Oh what a great guy, who likes being out in nature” etc, but on the other hand I think “Oh boy, he has a chainsaw at his house….hmmmm… scary!” LOL.
                      Glad you won’t be losing too much, from the way it sounds now, but it was so strange that he said you will lose either way, doesn’t that sound like the story of our lives? LOL 🌸🌼⚘

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                    • I figure it’s a choice of the frying pan or the fire. Either way, I’m going to get burned. It’s just a matter of how quickly and how bad. UGH.
                      Hey…I have a chainsaw. Doesn’t mean I go around chopping people up….although I sometimes have thoughts of being “Marilyn.” LOL
                      I’m kind of looking forward to hearing how it goes. A man who knows how to use a chainsaw is better than a man who thinks his hand is going to fall off is he gets a hangnail! (Loser)
                      Oh! And don’t go to his house….until you’re sure about his “tools.” Hahahahaha!

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                    • Haha, his “tools” 😁. Yes, I do like a man who is good with his hands and all, but I also like some good conversation. Lumberjack is really only ever sending 1 or 2 sentences in his messages and frankly he needs to step up his game or I’ll lose interest! I need me some good conversation! 🙂 I do hope it goes well with the economy where you live and that your saying etc wont be affected too much!

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                    • Maybe after you meet, he’ll open up a bit more….or maybe you should just tell him you’d like a bit more conversation. If he balks….then I guess he’s a balker and not a talker! LOL
                      I hope it goes well too. Oh well…I guess I’ll just watch Prison Break for the millionth time and try to get my mind off of it while I’m drooling over WM. 😍

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                    • When I was “playing” on that dating site, I didn’t respond with more than one or two sentences. I didn’t want to give too much personal information out online. They’d ask me where I lived and for my phone number….wasn’t going to happen. I say give the boy a chance! What’s the worst that could happen? A little wasted time….and make him pay for dinner! LOL

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