Home » A disease-Giving Husband » Surprise Call From My First Work Partner

Surprise Call From My First Work Partner

I got a call from my first work partner (WP) the other day.  I hadn’t talked to her in more than seven or eight years.

She could be brash and coarse.  She didn’t take shit off of anybody and when she came walking toward you, you knew instantly that this woman COULD HURT YOU.  But she was an excellent medic.  She would likely tell a rowdy patient to go fuck themselves but when we were in the throes of trying to save a life and the family members were grabbing our equipment and screaming “shock ’em” in our ears, she never lost her cool.

Before she joined EMS, she was a police officer.  At some point in that career, she shot her partner in the foot.  (Don’t ask.)

We spent a while “catching up.”  She didn’t know that I had divorced Loser but she didn’t seem to be too shaken up about it.  She remembered the time our director allowed us to leave our “first due” to go watch my son play soccer.  Loser was there, sitting on the bleachers when we pulled up.

We walked over and sat down.  I introduced her to him and he didn’t even look at her.  He just grunted.  He didn’t talk to us at all.  He just sat there, smoking and complaining about the other players.
After the game, we got into the ambulance and she looked at me and said “Puff (that’s what she called me) I hate to say this, but (Loser) is a fucking dick!”

Like the dutiful wife I was, I immediately started trying to come up with some way to pardon his actions.  I reached down in my grab bag of excuses and played the “he probably had a headache” card.  She said “he didn’t have a fucking headache…he’s a fucking dick.”  I then played card #2 when I said “he probably didn’t think #4 was playing well.”  She said “#4 scored three goals!  How much better did he want him to play?”

She hurt my feelings.  I had this overwhelming need to protect Loser and change her mind.  Can you spell stupid?

When WP left EMS, she started working for a plasma center.  One day she called me and told me that #4 had come in to sell his blood.  They were happy to get it due to his lack of the virus that almost all of us carry.  Still, he was selling his blood for booze, I guess.

I knew that WP and her mother had a strained relationship.  WP was gay and her mama hated it.  Her mama and daddy had been divorced for years and the split had not been friendly.  A few times, we stopped by her mamas’ house while we were on duty.  The first time we went there, I had a hard time not laughing when I saw that the entire front yard was full of plastic flowers that had been “planted.”
Her mama had an ear-piercing voice…almost like she wanted us to stand at least ten feet away.  There was no warmth between them and she didn’t act overjoyed to meet me.

WP had an older sister and two brothers.  I met her oldest sister and her husband.  They had a daughter who had broken a rule or something and they had taken her car away from her.  It was an almost new Mazda and they were going to sell it as punishment.
I decided to buy it for #4.  It was a great car and he was so proud of it but a few months later, he sold it for $50.00.

While we were talking, she told me that she didn’t speak to her mama anymore.  When I asked why, she started telling me about how her daddy had gotten sick and needed a blood transfusion.  As soon as she said that, I thought “uh oh….I know where this is going.”

While blood tests were being run to see which child would be compatible, (as WP put it) “every conceivable blood type imaginable showed up.”  She said “apparently, my mom was the biggest whore in the county.”

Her mama had gotten pregnant by a man but told WPs’ daddy that he was the father and made him marry her.  That child was WPs’ oldest sister.  WP suspects that her brothers have different fathers and that yet another man is her real father.  Her daddy didn’t have a clue about any of this until, of course, he got sick.

That has to be a heavy load for anybody to carry but she seems to be taking it in stride.  I know her well enough to know that it bothers her…but I also know her well enough to know that she knows there is nothing she can do about it…other than to just accept it.

I don’t know what I’d think if I found out that my daddy wasn’t my daddy.  I think I would rather find out that my mama wasn’t my mama.  I would say “thank God.”

WP used to always make me laugh when she said “Puff.  You need to come on over to the other side.”

Nothing’s changed.

25 thoughts on “Surprise Call From My First Work Partner

          • I know that exact feeling of self-hate for being a fool/idiot!! But, in reality, we “should not” hate ourselves for being deceived, tricked, scammed, and I will tell you why… everytime I think of it, us and other victims of narcissists, all hating ourselves, I get an image of an official message that the police sometimes send out to the public. The message varies a little bit but it goes something like this; “The police now warn elderly citizens about a league of con men who pretend to be firefighters/electricians/policemen, (or some similar profession) in order to be able to get into people’s homes, especially the senior citizens. Inside the home, these con men proceed to steal jewelry, cash or whatever they can get their hands on.” In my country at least, the police are often very kind in the way that they go out with these messages, cause they often add; “Please do not be afraid to report, and please do not blame yourself if this has happened to you”. I think that this is almost the EXACT feeling I have in cases like ours, too. Why should WE be the ones to be ashamed, when we were the ones that were conned/ deceived?! How is it ever a victim’s fault that someone abuses their trusting nature? In my eyes the abuser is always the one at fault. That does not mean that we shouldn’t examine ourselves and what we can do to strengthen our defenses etc… (Just like the elderly person who was robbed will become extra careful after being robbed, perhaps put in an extra lock etc, but why should they/we, ever take the blame for being deceived in the first place!).

            Just a thought to alleviate some of the self blame…. hugs!! ⚘

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            • I know they’re ALWAYS going to carry that “cheater” label. I just don’t want US to forever carry the “fool” label. You can throw your dunce cap away but there are always those who are going to think we were idiots….the tramps, for example….and our “friends” who wondered why we were so blind.
              I do believe that I am more mad at myself….I mean, what kind of woman finds an earring in her husbands’ car and lets him get away with saying “get in the car and shut the fucking door” and then is so stupid that she never questions him about it? ME, that’s who.
              That police/EMS/firefighter scam is pretty scary. I would have definitely let any one of them into my house…given my background and adulation of them. I just basically get the scams via email or WordPress….and I love to play with them.
              It’s hard not to blame ourselves…especially when (in my case) I was blamed for everything when I was growing up…and then Loser…blaming me to the judge for HIS betrayal and the destruction of our marriage. Kind of hard to get over that. 😦

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  1. It’s amazing how we make excuses for our ex’s behaviors while those around us see the truth. I remember friends coming up to me after we split up and telling me story after story of what they saw and I ignored it or accepted it as normal. In fact, another friend told me a few weeks ago… after a decade of being divorced the reports of his abuse are still being revealed. It sounds like you have an awesome friend in WP. Too many friends do not want to speak out or get involved.

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    • I guess he had just trained me to believe that he was entitled. SO many people have contacted me and it is pretty amazing what they say…like the woman who said “thank God you finally got rid of that LOSER!” We all live and learn, I guess. I just wish I had learned earlier. Sigh.

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      • Yes, same here. Someone came up to me just last month and talked about my ex’s abuse for the first time… and it’s been a decade. I too wish that I had learned earlier… but after 20 years of marriage, the unacceptable becomes acceptable to many.

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  2. It’s always good to reconnect with old acquaintances. I’ve recently done the same through Facebook, it was about 8 years since we’ve had any contact, but once she and I reconnect those years disappeared.

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  3. Wow….Between the two of you I think I lived a charmed life, lol. Notwithstanding the two men I fell for! Funny, I have always said, too bad I can’t go the other way, I might find a good partner. But…I can’t, lol. Why I like men so much when they have caused me so much pain, heartache and trouble, I have no idea. Nice that you heard from her. Always nice to catch up with people. Hope all is well with you

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