I read a post the other day about Emma Watson and her quest for equality in Hollywood. Things aren’t equal in so many ways and for so many people.
I learned a hard lesson when I got divorced. I was the primary for our automobile insurance and had been during our entire married life. When I found out about the WTC, I called to have Loser removed from my policy.
I knew that he was no longer keeping his word that he would never again drive after he had been drinking. He and the WTC were at the bar, drinking every night and it would be pretty difficult for him to get them back to his condo without driving. I was absolutely not going to have somebodys’ DUI tarnishing my driving record or increasing my insurance premiums.
I had him removed but made sure he was covered under a separate policy. When I told him he said “how come you to do that, Precious?” What a pig.
As fate (or inequality) would have it, his premiums went down by more than half and mine doubled. This was simply because I told them I was getting divorced and that made me a “high risk.” I wasn’t the one who drove drunk almost every single night but they didn’t care.
When I bought my house in Florida, I bought it in MY name only. I insured it in MY name only but when I was going to sell it, I had to get HIS permission. When I cancelled my homeowners insurance, they issued the return premium…with HIS name on it. My utilities had his name attached, even though I had never given it to them. This was all because I was still “legally” married.
I was also the primary on all but two of our credit cards. After I moved, I called them and had him taken off. He was the primary on the Chase card but I was successful in removing myself and gave them his address for future correspondence.
Almost a year later, I remembered the Sams card. I was the primary and I was pretty certain that he had gotten that WTC a card (attached to my account) so that she could buy their cigarettes, beer and food in bulk. A quick phone call ended that.
A credit check showed the American Express card was still attached to my name. Why he didn’t take care of it, I don’t know…well, actually I do know. I was the one who always took care things.
If Loser decided to buy that WTC a trailer and used his Amex to get the Delta Sky Miles…and something happened to him, I would be responsible for half of that bill….divorced or not. If he let that WTC use it and she charged something that he didn’t want to pay for, I would also be responsible for half of the bill.
My doctor in Florida learned a hard lesson as well. Her husband bought his tramp a half-million dollar condo and because they were still married at the time, she is in debt for $250,000. She doesn’t own the condo but she’s having to pay half the loan.
After I filed for divorce and we had to go through the mandatory MSA meeting, I mentioned that I wanted to take back my maiden name. Loser didn’t want me to….after all, he was “God.” He couldn’t reason in his own mind how I could possibly not want to continue to carry his disgraceful name.
The paralegal said “NO! You will ruin your credit if you take back your maiden name.” I remember Loser smiling when she said that.
I ignored her and the judge granted my request. It didn’t ruin my credit but I sure did take a hit. It has taken me an entire year to get my FICO score back up to where it was in the “before time.” His of course, never faltered. Why is that?
What society is telling us, is if we become “unattached” to a man…whether a good man or a lying, cheating, abhorrent excuse for a human being, we are worthless. We are high risk drivers. We are second class citizens and questionable borrowers. I resent this.
Something else I encountered just a few weeks ago, was trying to get my married name off of my Ebay account, due to divorce. I very rarely use Ebay but sometimes, I will buy a hard to find movie.
When I made the request, they demanded a copy of our marriage license, a copy the final divorce decree, which was many, many, many pages long and a “reason” for the request.
I emailed them and said “who is going to say they are divorced, when they are not? Just cancel my account.” They responded, wanting the name I wished it changed to, my address and again, the “reason.”
I gave them my new name, my address and for the reason, I said: “I finally divorced a lying, cheating, disease-giving husband of almost forty years. Is that a good enough reason?”
The next day, I got an email saying my account had been “updated.”
I will pit myself against any man…any day…as far as responsibility and ethics. I have always paid my bills the day I get them. Being divorced has not altered that.
I am no less honorable or reliable just because I chose to rid myself of a maggot.