Home » A disease-Giving Husband » Speaking Of Inequality

Speaking Of Inequality

I read a post the other day about Emma Watson and her quest for equality in Hollywood.  Things aren’t equal in so many ways and for so many people.

I learned a hard lesson when I got divorced.  I was the primary for our automobile insurance and had been during our entire married life.  When I found out about the WTC, I called to have Loser removed from my policy.

I knew that he was no longer keeping his word that he would never again drive after he had been drinking.  He and the WTC were at the bar, drinking every night and it would be pretty difficult for him to get them back to his condo without driving.  I was absolutely not going to have somebodys’ DUI tarnishing my driving record or increasing my insurance premiums.

I had him removed but made sure he was covered under a separate policy.  When I told him he said “how come you to do that, Precious?”  What a pig.

As fate (or inequality) would have it, his premiums went down by more than half and mine doubled.  This was simply because I told them I was getting divorced and that made me a “high risk.”  I wasn’t the one who drove drunk almost every single night but they didn’t care.

When I bought my house in Florida, I bought it in MY name only.  I insured it in MY name only but when I was going to sell it, I had to get HIS permission.  When I cancelled my homeowners insurance, they issued the return premium…with HIS name on it.  My utilities had his name attached, even though I had never given it to them.  This was all because I was still “legally” married.

I was also the primary on all but two of our credit cards.  After I moved, I called them and had him taken off.  He was the primary on the Chase card but I was successful in removing myself and gave them his address for future correspondence.

Almost a year later, I remembered the Sams card.  I was the primary and I was pretty certain that he had gotten that WTC a card (attached to my account) so that she could buy their cigarettes, beer and food in bulk.  A quick phone call ended that.

A credit check showed the American Express card was still attached to my name.  Why he didn’t take care of it, I don’t know…well, actually I do know.  I was the one who always took care things.

If Loser decided to buy that WTC a trailer and used his Amex to get the Delta Sky Miles…and something happened to him, I would be responsible for half of that bill….divorced or not.  If he let that WTC use it and she charged something that he didn’t want to pay for, I would also be responsible for half of the bill.

My doctor in Florida learned a hard lesson as well.  Her husband bought his tramp a half-million dollar condo and because they were still married at the time, she is in debt for $250,000.  She doesn’t own the condo but she’s having to pay half the loan.

After I filed for divorce and we had to go through the mandatory MSA meeting, I mentioned that I wanted to take back my maiden name.  Loser didn’t want me to….after all, he was “God.”  He couldn’t reason in his own mind how I could possibly not want to continue to carry his disgraceful name.
The paralegal said “NO!  You will ruin your credit if you take back your maiden name.”  I remember Loser smiling when she said that.

I ignored her and the judge granted my request.  It didn’t ruin my credit but I sure did take a hit.  It has taken me an entire year to get my FICO score back up to where it was in the “before time.”  His of course, never faltered.  Why is that?

What society is telling us, is if we become “unattached” to a man…whether a good man or a lying, cheating, abhorrent excuse for a human being, we are worthless.  We are high risk drivers.  We are second class citizens and questionable borrowers.  I resent this.

Something else I encountered just a few weeks ago, was trying to get my married name off of my Ebay account, due to divorce.  I very rarely use Ebay but sometimes, I will buy a hard to find movie.

When I made the request, they demanded a copy of our marriage license, a copy the final divorce decree, which was many, many, many pages long and a “reason” for the request.

I emailed them and said “who is going to say they are divorced, when they are not?  Just cancel my account.”  They responded, wanting the name I wished it changed to, my address and again, the “reason.”

I gave them my new name, my address and for the reason, I said:  “I finally divorced a lying, cheating, disease-giving husband of almost forty years.  Is that a good enough reason?”

The next day, I got an email saying my account had been “updated.”

I will pit myself against any man…any day…as far as responsibility and ethics.  I have always paid my bills the day I get them.  Being divorced has not altered that.

I am no less honorable or reliable just because I chose to rid myself of a maggot.

 

 

 

50 thoughts on “Speaking Of Inequality

  1. Seriously! I know from experience exactly what you’re saying and talking about except in reverse. My husband had a nasty divorce to S.A.M. and she was a money hungry, materialistic, self-centered, fat, ugly, hateful, spiteful, controlling, manipulative BITCH 🙂 My husband was the “RESPONSIBLE” one and got screwed up one side and down the other with no VASELINE! She went ahead and charged up 6 credit cards and my husband got stuck with every one of those bills! Plus, he got laid off and made 3 mortgage payments to her by the skin of his teeth and that bitch didn’t make the payments so he lost his house! She didn’t pay the brand new car payments either so the car got repo’d! And the list goes on and on and on! UGH! It’s really disheartening and pisses me the F OFF how some people just get away with this shit! GRRRRRRRRRRR

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    • I just don’t want to be “stuck to him” for the rest of my life…but I’m afraid I will be. We’re both still in cyberspace as each others’ spouses. I would have never done the credit card thing nor would he (I don’t believe) or we would have probably just left things the way they were…he was responsible for his and I was responsible for mine…but he takes that WTC overseas and pays her bills and I’m sure lets her use his cards…so not a chance, pal. I told him that I was not interested in supporting her.
      Your poor husband.
      My middle daughters’ husband had been married before and his ex-wifes’ daddy gave them 25K for their house. When they were getting divorced, that “gift” suddenly became a loan that T** has to now pay back. Loser and I gave our oldest money for her first house, and we had to sign papers saying it was a gift and there was no demand for repayment so I don’t know how that former asshole FIL pulled that one off.
      People just suck!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s so unfair! Whilst I haven’t been through it personally I’m pretty sure it’s not quite so severe in the UK, thankfully!!!
    It’s disgraceful that you’re so associated to a man and marriage in a way that if it ends through no fault of your own you are reprimanded financially for it!! Tsk!! x

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  3. That’s good ol’ Florida for you. I hate that damn state, and I’m glad I got out of there. My ex-looser owed $263 left on a car loan that he decided to default on. My name was on the car, but Mazda wouldn’t let me take my name off even though all my legal documents from the Palm Beach County Judge stated this was to occur. Due to his, my credit score plummented because the asshole didn’t pay his last payment. We were divorced for 3 years at this point. Also, I had to pay for his income tax in 2009 for 2004 because he owed money. Since I filed first, they took out his back taxes from my refund. May he rot in hell with a horrible STD.

    I feel your pain my sister!

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  4. I’m still trying to get my name off one last credit card account with my ex. It’s amazing how hard it always is to do this stuff. What you’ve encountered is so radically different from me, and I think your reasons are incredibly profound: we are a man-centric society at least economically. What I’ve been through hasn’t been a picnic, but I do empathize with what it sounds like you’ve experienced. And I’m glad you have your name back — IMPORTANT!

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    • Getting my name back was paramount. The credit card companies really didn’t give me much trouble…they just had to report it, which hits your credit score.
      Fortunately, mine was pretty high but like I said, it took a year took get it back to where it was.
      Are you having trouble because you weren’t the primary?

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      • Yes. I am an authorized user. To be fair, my ex has done due diligence in trying to get me off of them, but it’s been the credit card companies dragging their feet. She was successful on two, but there’s this pesky one who refuse to do it for some reason even though there is no balance on that account of hers. She understandably has not been as energetic about it in recent months, but I’ll need her to pick it up again b/c we’re buying a new home next year. I have to make sure my credit record has that card removed. Divorce is always a financial train wreck.

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          • Not all card companies are so helpful. Many are devious and want to keep all named holders in a later attempt to snare them into something untoward. This is really a situation in which it could/should be reported to authorities. But hopefully perseverance will get them to finally let it go, as you experienced with eBay.

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            • My older sister had been divorced for twenty-five years when her ex wanted to buy a house. The bank turned him down because he was “too far in debt.” He owed nothing to anybody but my sister likes to max out all of her credit cards. They were still looking at her credit in tandem with his. She had to write letters and provide proof of HER own debts and of course, HER copy of the divorce papers.
              I tried to get the credit bureaus to disassociate my social security number from his but they said they couldn’t…which of course means that unless I get the “free” credit reports before he does, I can’t get them unless I pay for them. I even show up on “Google” as his fucking spouse and vice versa.
              You’re right. This needs to be reported to the authorities….but who?

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              • I know, it probably takes a really good bankruptcy or estates & trust lawyer to really separate the financial entanglements. Mere mortals are pretty much putty in the hands of these financial companies. I already learned divorce lawyers want no part of this process — they’ll separate the assets with the court but not the credit bureaus. So someday I do see myself probably throwing money at the problem and hiring a lawyer. But to answer your question, a good government agency to at least start with is the FTC. They do have a reporting feature on their web site. Also the CFPB: http://www.consumerfinance.gov/complaint/

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                • For some reason, this comment showed up in my spam folder. WordPress is really sucking these days. I’m not going to pay a lawyer to try to get my social separated from him. I just may stay up on New Years’ Eve and order the free reports. (He’ll be busy with his tramp most likely.) That way, he can’t get it free and HE’LL have to pay if he wants it. LOL

                  Liked by 1 person

  5. Grrr! 😤 😠 I was lucky enough to close joint bank accounts before major damage was done. Also, I didn’t realise at the time, but I was only an additional card holder on his credit card. Thank God! Everything was negative. Geez…

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  6. Isn’t it amazing that the person who takes responsibility, and does the right thing, is the one who gets screwed over in these situations? Crazy…been there, done that!

    I was going to ask what the “WTC” is, but I’m fair with acronyms…so I put it together, LOL!
    😉

    Liked by 1 person

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