Home » A Wasted Life » I Have A Solution! A Spell Caster.

I Have A Solution! A Spell Caster.

This morning, I got a rather lengthy comment from a lady who wanted to tell me her story.  Her husband “sent her packing after 13 years.”
Bless your heart.

She said she was lost and helpless after trying so many ways “to my husband back to me.”
Your English is sort of fractured but maybe you’re from another country.  Forgiven.

She said she was so distracted at work that one day her boss called her.  She told him what happened and he smiled and told her it was no problem.  He said that he had used a “spell” to get his wife back after she left him for another man.  She said her boss gave her the name “the Prophet Abuvia.”
Now, I’ve heard about the great prophet Mick Jagger…(“you can’t always get what you want”) but I have never heard of this Abuvia person…but carry on.

Her boss gave her the prophets’ email address.  She said she never believed it would work but had “no choice but to come into contact with the sayings and give him my personal information.”
Now we’re talking!  Show me the dotted line and sign me up! 

She says two days later her mama called and said “that my husband was begging on bended knee for my forgiveness.”
Okay…but that’s when you kick them in the face, dear…and don’t you think he should have been kneeling in front of you instead of your mama?

She says now her husband is doing “funny things he had never done before.”  She said this Abuvia person says my husband “will never leave me for another woman and will be with me until the end of time.”
You go girl!  I know I would pay any price to have a peach like that back in MY life!  By the way…exactly how much DID it cost for you to reacquire that sleazeball…and it’ll be until the end of time?  You better hope the world ends tomorrow.

Okay, seriously.  I think I should email that prophet.  I have some “things” I’d like for him to help me out with.
Let’s see….should I ask for a spell to have the Loser puppets’ dick fall off?
Nah.  I doubt that WTC puppet-master has a thimble to catch it in.

Should I ask for a spell to make what’s left of the Loser puppets’ hair fall out?
Nah.  He always wears a hat, so it would be a waste of a perfectly good spell.

Maybe I should ask for a spell that would suddenly make him go stupid.
Oh, wait.  He’s already proven that he’s stupid.

How about if I ask for him to have a never-ending attack of Herpes?
Perfect!  As the Loser puppet would say “that’s the ticket!”  Between the two different strains he and the WTC puppet-master have, I think that might be a possibility.  (Move to top of list.)

I could ask for a spell that would insure that the Loser puppet has a miserable life.
Hmm.  Let’s see.  He retired from a 50 year career as a washed-up, has-been failure.  He’s an old man who wandered into a bar and picked up the first “thing” he could find who was willing to tell him anything he wanted to hear in exchange for him paying her bills.  I’d say no need for a spell.

If the “spells” were free (which I feel sure they aren’t) I would waste the money and post a series of results, which I’m sure would always end with “well, nothing yet.”

So…if anybody wants the email address for this prophet…let me know and I’ll forward it to you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

43 thoughts on “I Have A Solution! A Spell Caster.

  1. Hi Laurel
    It is Jana….this name suits me better for now. I am back on WordPress after an absence.
    I know plenty of witches, real and otherwise. With b’sand w’s My ex used to say I bewitched him, more like he ensnared me.
    Your humour is a blessing. You make me smile.
    I will catch up in next while. Wanted to say hi and hope you are well ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think you are on to something, that spell thing there it just might be the ticket. You are missing a few good ones though. Hemorrhoids, always painful and hanging about. Start with this one. 😉

    Like

  3. My spell would be for cheating men to suffer testicular elephantitis……..Hard to screw around when you have to carry your balls around in a wheelbarrel.

    Like

  4. Hahahahah. Btw, I’ve come across quite a few comments on other blogs who mention this guy. I find it hilariously funny. Let’s see what I would ask for… Hmmmmm I have something on my mind but would never write it out…LOL

    Like

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