Home » A Wasted Life » Whoa!


The last few days, I have had an interesting experience.

I gained a new follower and decided to follow them.  The beginning comments were innocuous enough but I made the mistake of commenting on one of their blogs about police officers.

My take was that police officers are most likely scared now.  They can get shot for merely pulling somebody over for a speeding ticket…or a broken tail light.  This blogger said that people who “get paid for a job” should not be afraid.

I told him that I got paid to do my job and I admitted that sometimes, I was afraid.  When I was first hired, I was told to take off my jewelry.  I was told that we would be sent into bad neighborhoods and be placed in dangerous situations.
My first work partner knew a detective and every time we had to go on a call in a certain area (known for drug activity) she would call him and he would meet us there.

He suggested that I was not fit to do that job.  He mentioned firefighters and high-rise workers.  He touted himself as being a military man.  He said “these people know the dangers of the job before they take it on and shouldn’t take it on if they are afraid.”

I told him that I had never met one medic or police officer or firefighter who didn’t have at least a little trepidation when they ran a call and if they didn’t, they were foolish.  You never know exactly what the situation is until you get there.  Foolishness and cavalier attitudes can get you or a co-worker wounded, hurt or killed.

I was flip when I told him that he was most likely right.  All medics, firefighters, and police officers should probably quit and get a nice, cushy office job…but that begs the question…”who are you going to call, should you be trapped in a burning building, are being robbed or God forbid, are suffering a heart attack?  Ghostbusters?  I hear they are fearless.”

That elicited the response….“sarcasm.  That’s exactly why some people are suited for a job and some are not.  You made the choice to choose a profession and I gather you would know the risks of said profession before applying yourself at that job.”

I sent an “apology” for all of my shortcomings, having a brain which allowed me to form my own opinions and of course, for my sarcasm.

He “accepted” my apology and suggested that I should be able to wrap my brain around “staying on topic” to fit my narrative.  (The original conversation was that he believes police officers should NEVER carry firearms and calls them KKKops and says they have as much right with weapons as a dairy cow.)  I wonder.  What are police officers supposed to do…use harsh language?

Now, I’m not saying there aren’t and haven’t been instances that involved unwarranted police brutality.  My son has suffered severe police brutality and for no other reason than “they held all the power.”  But…I still hold fast in my belief that those same officers would put themselves between him and a bullet if it was necessary.

He goes on to say “see, you made this personal against your intelligence and that’s what people do when they run out of valid points to support their weak position on a topic.  Not once did I question your brain or intelligence, you did by your words.  I am done.  I have no time or patience for stupid.

I sent him a quick message saying “Ha.  That’s exactly what I was thinking!  I have no time or patience for stupid!”

My take on all of this is….be careful what you think, more careful what you say and even more careful what you write.  It’s hard for me to understand how this evolved over a few simple statements that police officers might be afraid for their lives in this violent world and that I was somewhat afraid when I worked.

Was I afraid every day?  No.  Was I afraid sometimes?  Yes.
I wasn’t very big and I could certainly lift my share of a 500 pound man on a stretcher but if that man had come after me, would I have been afraid?  You’re goddamn right.
Would he have gotten me down?  If he had gotten in the first blow…probably.  If I had gotten in the first blow in the right place, maybe not because I’m pretty sure I could have outrun him.

This person can attack me and tell me I wasn’t fit to do my job but he would be wrong.

There is always an element of  fear when you are risking your life to save another.

35 thoughts on “Whoa!

  1. Some people don’t know what the hell to say. We can agree to disagree and that doesn’t mean that you should be insulted. Ugh! I hate bloggers that act like they are so above everyone.


  2. Well, I guess cops should carry a bouquet of flowers and toss them at delinquents. There is nothing wrong with feeling a little fear. This jerk’s logic has no foundation. Sometimes, I fear walking the streets of NY because of the threat of terrorism and the hoodlums running around slashing people’s faces FOR FUN. According to his logic, I should never walk the streets again. What an idiot. You handled yourself well.


  3. I am new to your blog and not sure what your job is but mine is in protective child services and there are some areas I won’t go unless I have a police escort. I still help the family but without knowing them initially… You just never know what purple are capable of. I don’t think caring about my safety is a bad thing as I still get the job done. Hope that made sense


    • It does indeed make sense. I was a medic. We often worked in tandem with the police and most of the time, if we knew there was potential danger, we would “stage” until the police officers had rendered “scene safety.” But like I said and you said…you never know what people are capable of.
      Thank you so much for reading. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I never believe a person when they say they are not afraid. If he/she is not afraid, then why is he/she having to point it out to me. Everyone who is lucid is afraid of something. Period.



  5. Sometimes there are valid arguments which are evidenced by our own anecdotes. Do I like police brutality? No. Do I think the U.S. Has an incredible amount of unnecessary gun violence? Yes. Is it sometimes caused or involving police? Yep. Do some countries have police forces without weapons? Yes. Do they keep order successfully? Absolutely. Would it work in the U.S.? Not without a drastic shift in culture, which the U.S. Probably needs to consider but would take 20 years to implement. Does that mean I think no cops should have guns? No. I do have a fairly assertive opinion about some things related to this subject. Does it mean I’m stupid because some of it is influenced by personal experience not just rote fact or statistic? Absolutely not, it’s called a case study. Yes, they are sometimes misused. The whole point of blogging is to have a dialog with the world. Sometimes you’re not going to be agreed with and bullying people who respond to you is asinine and juvenile. If you didn’t want comments and thought, turn off your comments or better yet get a diary and don’t blog.

    Poor momma! I love it when people comment on my blog even when or especially when they disagree with me?!? That way I know someone out there is reading it for real!


    • I think it would be wonderful if police officers didn’t have to carry and use weapons…but it’s not the case. Is there police brutality and abuse here? Absolutely. Is it justified? Brutality and abuse are NEVER justifiable. There are ways to subdue criminals , even if they are armed and I have always questioned why they couldn’t be shot in the leg. It would be hard to get away with a bullet in your leg and the survival rate would be almost total…but I am not one to judge unless and until I am the one on scene. Who knows how it feels to be staring down the barrel of a gun….be it a police officer or a perpetrator?
      I’m not afraid of disagreement but what I resent is being told that I had no business being in my profession if I was afraid.
      I once ran on a man who was high on Meth. It took four firefighters, two medics and the mans’ brother to subdue him enough to get him strapped onto the stretcher. Were we scared? Yes, we were….but you know what? We EARNED our pay. We got him to the hospital in time to save his life. We deserved to have our jobs…if for no other reason than that.
      I also don’t enjoy being called stupid, just because I don’t agree with somebodys’ assessment of our policies…a person, who by the way doesn’t even live in the United States.
      Disagree all you want but never tell me I wasn’t worthy of my profession or that I am stupid because I don’t agree with your assessment of my value.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. This new ‘friend’ is why God invented mute and block options. You either encountered a troll or and ideologue or both. My Dad was a Fireman. He said that bravery is doing what you must despite the risk and fear. He risked his life to save others. He did it because it was what he wanted to do; not because he didn’t know fear.

    My take on the exchange you had is this: the first person to use the word ‘stupid’ in a civilized discussion is an idiot.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Agree. Fear is important, is helps us to be cautious when we need to. It protects us. I am not talking about irrational fear or generalised anxiety disorder or hypochondriacs…but fear as an inborn radar that helps us to be aware of red flags, and potentially dangerous situations. If we had no fear, we would also be numb to other emotions.
    Being aware of where the line is…is because we know how it feels when we have crossed it….and put ourselves in danger.
    L had a startle response? people who went through trauma have that. People with a bad conscious have it too :).


    • I don’t think Loser had a startle response…but I wasn’t going to test it…he was a big man…and a bully…so, I kept that in mind…you know…a healthy fear. Wonder if that means I should have never gotten married? LOL
      I know I shouldn’t have stayed married for as long as I did…but you know..”if you’re afraid, you have no business doing the job”….and MY so-called marriage was a JOB!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh, what a *censored word goes here* 😀
    Some people are just so arrogant and think they know it all. It is sad. Fear is a natural human instinct, made to keep us alive, so it is a healthy instinct, too.

    The only person I have met who has never truly had any fear, is…..the narcissist. Supposedly, from what I’ve read, that is a trait which is”standard” when it comes to psychopaths = they have no fear, and not even a startle response. And the narc had a very dangerous job, so I always found it so odd he never had any fear. You could never scare him, either, cause of the lack of startle response… Guess if I shuddered when I read up on psychopaths and found that to be one of their traits…. (Narcs can have some traits of psychopaths, and vice versa, it is said). So be proud that you have normal human functions and forget Mr. Know-it-all…. 😉 Hugs.

    Liked by 2 people

    • He was full of himself…that’s for sure. Now that you mention it, Loser was never afraid of anything either….even when I knew he was a bullying terrorist at work, I would sometimes ask him if he wasn’t afraid he would get fired. He would always say “nah.” I don’t know about his “startle” response….I didn’t dare startle him! Wow. Maybe I should read up on psychopaths….Yikes!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yep, there can be a lot of similarities, psychopaths and narcs. The biggest difference that I have found so far, was that there were some distinct psychopath traits that I was unsure of if the narc really displayed….it had something to do with aggression/violence, and also breaking the law etc. I think it is these days called “anti social personality disorder”. The main thing Hero did NOT do was: He was not violent/aggressive, and he didn’t break the law frequently except for you know parking tickets , speeding tickets etc. But nothing in the way of real crimes (that I know of). So finally I gathered he wasjust a regular old narc with just a tiny hint of psychopath in him lol!! Readup on it yes it is very interesting!! 🙂


        • Hmm. Loser was what I would call violent…simply because he would get so outraged about things. Breaking the law? He drove too fast and drove (and still does) drunk. He has very little respect for the “law.” My biggest fear (and the one thing that would be the cause of our break-up) was that he would get caught driving drunk. He never has, of course….because he’s the great **** **** and he’s entitled.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Oh yes… narc broke some laws now that I remember. But I guess it was never any “serious” crimes, like… you know, stealing, robbing, blah blah. I think he did drive intoxicated but very rarely.. so it doesn’t quite fit the profile perhaps. The true psychopath seems to do a lot “more”, like scamming people in numerous ways, evading taxes, all sorts of con jobs, physical violence ifit comes to it, etc… So I don’t really know. I think Loser may have a lot of the psychopath traits, but I pegged him “more” as a narcissist, the way you have described him. Anyway, he was a screwed up hybrid then? 😉 Lol. Entitled, yeah that is the narc trait no. 1 I guess. Lol. So tragic.


            • I agree that Loser was more of a narcissist although my youngest daughter calls him a sociopath. Yikes.
              I don’t believe he ever cheated on the taxes or anything….at least I didn’t know because I never saw them (which is why I filed an innocent spouse declaration with the IRS.)
              I do know that he was bad to “con people.” He had an overdue library charge at Duke…..for $50.00. When he went to pay it, he “charmed” the gal there by saying “you know, this should be $5.00…don’t you think? How could I rack up $50.00 worth of late fees?”
              It worked. She cleared his debt for $5.00.
              And his fucking drunk mama called ME a con artist?

              Liked by 1 person

              • The lines blur for us mere morals between narcissist/ sociopath and psychopath. It was only after expensive reading that I ended up figuring out that Hero was a narcissist but perhaps with some traits of psychopath. The extreme emotional coldness that can be in display, is often more attributed to a psychopath. Narcissists often seem to be more adept at hiding their coldness. Hero could never hide it well enough, so it always felt psychopathic somehow… by the way I emailed you!! 🙂 Just a reading suggestion in between game of thrones. 😉


                  • Alright I have sent you 2 different emails with instructuons of 2 different ways to watch some good stuff.. 😉
                    Really, do not be discouraged by the lengthy emails, cause you just have to read the instructions once, for 5-10 mins and you will figure it all out.. 🙂

                    I hope it was some kind of help. And if trouble, holler! This is a simple way to watch TV. 😁 💜


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