Home » A Wasted Life » The End Of The Dating Game

The End Of The Dating Game

I took my profile down on that dating site today but not before I checked the nine new messages.

It still amazes me that these men can’t or won’t read and believe that a nice crotch shot will somehow pique my interest.

The latest one, I admit was fairly handsome but he was only 5′ 5″ tall and 59 years old.  He sent a simple message of “Hi.  How are you today?”  His main interests are golfing, the beach and boating.
I’ve already been a golf widow.   What part of “must be at least 6′ tall did you not understand…or bother to read?”  What part of “I don’t care for water did you not understand…or bother to read?”  So….I’m not too good today.  My wants and needs have already been ignored.”

69 years old and stands 6′ 1″ tall.  His interests are streaming music through his Bluetooth, since he just discovered Pandora.  He says he doesn’t have any pets but loves animals of all kinds and actually likes animals more than he likes humans.  He posted a nice crotch shot.
Okay.  I don’t have a problem with Pandora.  I actually have it but I can’t remember my password.  Thanks for the crotch shot but I don’t need to see your package.  If you had posted pictures of yourself barbecuing something on the spit, I might have suspected it was a date who didn’t quite measure up to an animal.  Maybe if you searched “down under” you could meet a nice wallaby. 

56 years old and is an inch shorter than I am in my stocking feet.  His message was “Hi, gorgeous.”  His interests are the beach and anything having to do with water.  He is upfront when he says “if you are afraid to talk on the telephone, this is going to go NOWHERE and will be a waste of precious time.”
Hmm.  Did you not notice my age?  Obviously, you can’t (or won’t) read so forget the telephone conversation.  If you can’t read, I would be suspicious that you could actually carry on a conversation and you’ve already wasted enough of MY precious time.

65 years old and depending on where you look, his height varies from 6′ to 6’1″.  His message is “Hi.  How was your weekend?”  His interests aren’t specified but he says he doesn’t care how much money I have and he doesn’t “fee” his age.
I guess your height can vary, depending on whether or not you have on shoes.  A typo can happen to anybody.  You don’t care how much money I have?  So….I could be just another WTC and you would pay my bills for me?  Would I be obliged to pump up your ego and offer other benefits?  Sorry.  I’m not looking for a meal ticket.

This one is hilarious.  6′ 2″ tall.  56 years old and lives in New Jersey.  His message was “it would be nice to get to know you.”  He describes himself as a beach “bun.”  He enjoys walking on the beach every day and his goal is to retire and do it full-time.  He says “I like to eat.”  He has no picture but says he is bald and separated from his wife.
New Jersey is a tad too far away.  You’re separated?  Maybe you should get divorced before you start looking for another woman.  Don’t be a “loser.”  Sorry, if you had bothered to read my profile you would know that I don’t care for the beach and I don’t even like hotdog buns, let alone beach buns.

65 years old.  One inch taller than I am in my stocking feet.  His message is a simple “Hello. Where u ?”  His interests are the beach…the beach…and the beach.  His last relationship lasted a whopping four years.
I think it clearly states on my profile where I am.  It also states my height requirements.  It also states that I am not a beach person.  Since you can’t read, you can now boast that our “relationship” has lasted a whopping four minutes.

60 years old.  6′ 2″.   He describes himself as a Hedonist.  He is separated.  His message is “I’d love to have you.”  He doesn’t specify his interests but being a self-described Hedonist, I don’t think he needs to.
You’re not going to “have me.”  I’ll say the same thing I said before.  Again, don’t be a “loser.”  Get a divorce before you start messaging other women that you’d like to “have them.”  Are you like another “Loser” I know?  Do you want to have another woman and still keep your wife?  Crawl back into the pond where you belong.

52 years old.  5′ 11″ tall.  His interests are dirt-bike riding, any and everything on the water and scuba diving.  He is recently separated.  He lives in New York.  His message is “wow.  You’re beautiful.”
I messaged that I lived nowhere near New York.
He messaged back saying “tell me where you live and I’ll move there IMMEDIATELY.
You may be an engineer but apparently you are just like everybody else.  You can’t read.  You’re recently separated.  Don’t be a pig.  Get a divorce before you start planning your next move.

This has really been interesting.  It was a complete and total waste, save the humor it inspired.  At least I found my high school friend there.  He is going to call me tomorrow.  I’ll see how that goes.

I really learned a lot about what these sites are about and they are obviously not for me.

Here endeth the lesson.





78 thoughts on “The End Of The Dating Game

  1. Oh the famous d*ck picks and don’t forget the bare chested shots! Enjoyed your blog! I’m blogging about relationships too.


    • That was a good one. I think my favorite was the 78 year old who wanted me to know he was “fully functional.” I told another reader it probably meant that he could pee by himself.
      I will miss them too and actually thought about doing another one…maybe finding a picture of somebody else and posting that….or maybe having two different identities. On one, I could describe myself as a voluptious, sexual blonde who is a real party animal. The other one could be a tattered, uneducated, divorced housewife who liked to lounge around in her flannel bathrobe…watching soap operas all day.
      What do you think? LOL

      Liked by 2 people

      • Do it!!
        Lol.. and be sure to take scores…
        Funny they dont even know who they talk to. ( same for us too I imagine….)
        I hear a lot of those women who talk to the guys on the phone ??? Are big and ugly….lol.
        You know..they were supposed to make those phones where you could see who you were talking to many years ago.
        I wonder…why did thay fail?????
        HMmmm…. that’s a hmmm moment there…


  2. Well I wasn’t on a porn site…but it may as well been…
    There were no pictures, but the stuff they wanted to talk about…geeze…
    Speed test…yep, that one lasted..10 seconds…ding! Next one….ding…same time…ding….you get the point.
    Can anyone (especially men ) carry a conversation anymore?


  3. Let me tell you what I did once.
    You know the old story i’m sure. It’s like the story you just told almost.
    Remember the yahoo 360 they used to have?
    You could chat on there.
    Well…after SO many men asking…asl???? ( age, sex, location ) it really pissed me off.
    They want the hood ornaments or arm ornaments or boat ornaments..or wtf ever….
    A looker.
    I’ve been told I’m nice looking before. But who cares.
    I dug through image picture piles of women.
    Ha..I finally found one for the guys.
    They asked for it. Women of their dreams.
    It was a picture of about six women standing in the field with something that looked like big ass elephant rifles. Nice army green shorts. A little short in length…
    The guns were propped in different positions.
    Blondes, brunettes, redheads…wow..the works!
    They all had this sultry look on their faces. Hahah.
    Cool. Just what I needed…for the idiots that kept just saying asl???????? Can’t they even say hi?
    Oh..I forgot to mention one thing.
    They were all topless. Lmao. I don’t remember where the hell I found it. I’d like to find it again. Just for shits And…grins.
    One guy said, ” WOW…which one are you????
    I said third from the left.
    He said, ” WOW! You are so beautiful.”
    I rolled my eyes and laughed my butt off.
    Yeah I know..cheap entertainment.
    Isn’t that what they are after????
    Geeze…. and yet, the race of men…..STILL cannot understand us.
    Who the f cares what their crotch looks like?????
    Did I ask for any?
    Hell all I wanted was a conversation…from ANYONE. Not just guys..but EVERYONE.
    Yah I coule take them down several notches by saying something about their “junk”…god I hate that word.
    Used to, junk meant trash of sorts right????
    Sorry, but your post made me laugh my ass off here. And brought back funny stories….
    Thank you! 😉


  4. Those places are a waste…
    I even went to a site ..just a regular chat site? You know…where people are supposed to just talk….
    It was like one of these speed dating sites…seriously….
    I would go there for shits and cries ( its supposed.to be grins, but after a few it makes you wanna cry.)
    Men….who the hell needs them anyway?
    I thought I must be on one of those porn chat sites?..? So I asked a guy. He said yes, it is a regular chat site.
    Can’t they give it a rest????


  5. Lordy girl, why did you take it down? Think about the fun of seeing Loser’s profile on there one day. He’s a cheater, no doubt he’s cheating on WTC. A new address doesn’t change what you are, you carry that with you.


    • Oh, no. There’s no danger of Loser cheating on that WTC. 1. Unless he has a healthy supply of Viagra (which I’m sure she has required) 2. She hangs all over him like a cheap suit.
      Hmm. He doesn’t wear her very well from what I’ve heard. LOL

      Liked by 1 person

      • I know It sucks….
        It is really sad…when you get down to It.
        Can’t people read anymore.
        I guess they must think they are “special” and that you will approve them..wow.
        Dear, the world is full of idiots.
        It is a let down for sure….
        I don’t know if there is a real good dating site or not.
        My daughter said “E harmony is picky. You can spend hours almost on a profile. But then It gets to the place where it asks if you are ??? Single I guess. BUT…if you are divorced, you dont pass for them. And goodbye. She had a loser too, but she was divorced.
        How many people our ages or even younger are not divorced????
        I did a search on that guy. Wow…you would be surprised… I wont go into details. I might get sued…

        He would make a better preacher…. 😉


  6. I have to admit when I saw the title to this post I was a little depressed–these were so funny. Just yesterday I saw another blogger who did something similar and she said she knew the guy she was communicating with was a fake but she wanted to see how far it would go. I wish I could tolerate the nonsense but I’d probably lose my temper.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Are they seriously sending crotch pictures?!?! I mean, seriously? And these are not even teenagers. Sigh. Well, I’m thankful you took this on because the humour and entertainment it inspired gave many of us many good laughs 🙂 Plus, indeed, the high school friend. Maybe that was the sole purpose for you to have to go there. Can’t wait to hear about how it develops! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Holy shit. The only one who sounds like he’s not a tota skeez from his profile alone was the animals guy- and he ruins it with a crotch shot! Seriously are you shitting me? Here’s the lesson. The people worth finding are not on the dating profiles online.


    • Well, I may have misled everybody. The “crotch shot” was a picture of him sitting spread-eagled. I know men sit like that….Loser sat like that and I always sneaked a free shot of his panties, but I don’t think you should post a picture like that on a dating site.
      Like I said, it was an insightful test….at least I found Steve on there. It will never go anywhere but maybe we can hang out a couple of times….until he invites me out on his boat or on his motorcycle…then it will be “bye bye.” LOL


  9. Ugh! I’ll also never understand why so many men think sending pictures is their genitals is a welcome gesture. Sorry, but I don’t want those pictures if I love the man and an intimately familiar with that part. They just. Don’t. Get. It. Sounds like you dodged a bullet with that site. Glad you quit.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m not sure that I’ll go back to online dating myself, once I’m ready to date again. It’s a lot of sorting through rubbish. But I did meet Mr.Artist on there, and like it or not, he’s stuck with me, even if it’s just friendship for now.

    Liked by 2 people

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