Home » A disease-Giving Husband » What Am I Going To Do?

What Am I Going To Do?

I got a text message from my friend today.  I’ll call him Steve (because that’s his name.)

He said he really enjoyed seeing me the other day and if I wanted to see him again, he would drive to me.  Maybe he could show me that lake I live near.  (I need to get out more.)

What the hell am I going to do?  I can’t have him at my house or in my house.  I temporarily forgot my angst when I texted him back and said “sure.  Give me a call.”  I am a fucking idiot.

It’s not fear of him.  I know that.  It’s not fear of some fucking Tarot cards.  I know that too.  It’s not fear that we might (in another universe where time had fractured and I had turned into a blithering idiot who had learned nothing) start a relationship.  I know that.

I do know that if I am in a relationship with a man for ninety days and if it is suspected that we have “co-habitated”, my alimony will go away.  Isn’t that just the shit?  Loser could fuck any and everything that circled him like a bitch in heat and shack up with that WTC while we were still married but suffer NO consequences.

I used to joke that if I ever did find a “boyfriend”, I would let him hang around for 89 days and then tell him to hit the road…for a day.  Then he could come back and the calendar would start again.  The law is the law and 89 isn’t 90.

Maybe I’ll just tell him I need to mow my and my neighbors’ lawns (which is true.)  I could tell him I use clippers and snip every individual blade of grass…so it might take me a couple of months.

Maybe I just won’t answer the phone.  Maybe I’ll change my number.

 

48 thoughts on “What Am I Going To Do?

  1. How long is alimony supposed to be for? I’d hate for you to miss out on something great because of Loser. He’s such an asshole and shouldn’t be able to control you!!!

    That being said, couldn’t you prove you were not cohabiting if both of you have your own residences? So annoying that you have to even deal with this.

    Like

    • My alimony is permanent. It will only end when Loser or I die. If he wanted to be able to keep his money bad enough, he would drive by and take pictures or have somebody follow me….or have somebody read my blog to see if I posted anything about a relationship. He has access to all kinds of ways to get information. If I could figure out what a “statcounter code” was, I would install it and then I would know who was reading my blog.
      He and that WTC both had separate residences but she sent me a note telling me that she had just “recently moved to ********” meaning she was shacking up with Loser. This was before I even filed for divorce. The law protects cheaters and tramps…they aren’t as nice to wives.
      If I was in a relationship, we could have separate residences but if it could be proven that we had cohabitated for a period of 90 days…my alimony would end.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Back in the early 80s at the end of the disco era, the group Rapper’s Delight came out with a song that said, “Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn.”
    Loser has detectives following you? Don’t make it a regular thing around your home and your neighborhood. Am I over simplifying this??

    Like

    • I don’t think it was Loser…or not him per se. I think it was “somebody else.” (Now whether or not he funded it, remains to be seen. If he was having to pay somebodys’ taxes, I doubt they had the money.) When I told my attorney, he told me “not to get anywhere close to another man because just the suggestion that I was fooling around would make that alimony go away before it ever started.” Then he said “think about it. Every penny he doesn’t have to pay to you, he can spend on her (that WTC.”) So….I think “somebody” was trying to get ammunition to present to the court. Too bad….it didn’t work. LOL

      Liked by 1 person

        • It really is unfair. If I was so inclined, I would do exactly what I said I would do. Shack up with somebody for 89 days and tell them they had to leave for a day.) I’d like to see him take me to court over that. He’s such a dick. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t have a spy on wordpress, trying to see if I ever “got a boyfriend” so he could get out of paying alimony…either that…or his WTC.

          Liked by 1 person

          • You’ve been conditioned to act and feel a certain way for a long time. It’s not your fault, need to remember and keep that in mind. And you’re right no need to say anything personal, not unless you want to. Don’t think of it as a date, more as of friends hanging out. Maybe you’ll feel more comfortable and at ease. 🙂

            Like

            • Oh yeah…friends for sure. My other high school friend (who my oldest daughter is named for…not because we were girlfriend and boyfriend but because I liked his name) and I have a very good relationship….and we’re just friends. We rarely see each other and talk on the phone maybe once a month but it’s certainly doable. I’m not sure I’m willing to drive a couple of hours to have a “friendship” though…and I’m not sure he would be willing to either.

              Like

    • It’s the law in just about every state. You get alimony…you can’t have a relationship that involves being together for longer than 90 days..or you lose it. Great protection for all the scumbag cheaters out there. Hey…how else are they going to pay their tramps’ bills?

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’ve never heard of it. Maybe it’s not in Connecticut. We’re a very liberal state. It seems patently unfair that one party can have a relationship and the other one not . And that the alimony would be based on that. Alimony should be based on the fact that he owes you the money. I’ve heard of people losing it because they get married, I know that’s the way I always heard it works. It’s just insane you can’t continue your life. Well just don’t cohabitate. That doesn’t mean you can’t date and have them over once a week. Spending the night occasionally is not cohabitating. Is it? Crazy. Just nuts.

        Like

        • Alimony definitely goes away if the spouse gets married but if I were to shack up with somebody (like Loser had been doing for two years before the divorce was final), it will go away. My attorney told me not to even think about “dating” before the final decree because that could be perceived as “adultery.” I’ll tell you….Loser wins all the way around. He can shack up with that WTC, spend “our” money on her and the court does nothing. (Actually, he could have cried hardship in court because he could have cited that he was having to pay that WTCs’ expenses…and the court would have taken that into consideration when it came to distribution of funds.)
          Yay for all the cheating men and the tramps they love!
          And people wonder why I want Karma.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Maybe because CT is a no-fault state. I had the same issue with the money before the divorce, I had a hell of a time protecting any of it, but managed to protect enough to pay me. I don’t even think adultery is reason for divorce here. It doesn’t matter who did what, if one person wants a divorce, then that person can have it. No ugly courtroom scenes, no accusations. Just split it up and go. The issue here is alway about dividing up the money and assets. Usually alimony is only for a limited period though here, like 5 or 10 years, not forever.

            Like

            • Florida is a no fault state which is why Loser wanted me to file down there in the first place. He lives in South Carolina which is one of the few states left that actually consider adultery a crime. Since he lived there, even though I didn’t, I could file up there…and I did. He filed on grounds of “separation” which South Carolina doesn’t recognize legally (as in you have to be separated for a year before you can file.) I filed for adultery and got my filing in the day before his, so the judge threw his out. Then he wanted the judge to seal the records because he was a “public figure.” He sure was! He was publicly parading that WTC around the state while he was still married and was apparently lying to everybody who knew or had known me. Hilarious what that Loser did and tried to do. But…..even Florida and the other no-fault states honor the 90 cohabitation clause. You live together…that’s it.
              (Now it South Carolina, they also still have common law marriage.) Used to be that if you lived together for seven years, you were considered married…legally. Now, if you live together for seven seconds and are presenting yourself as a couple, in the eyes of the law…you are married. So, technically….Loser not only committed adultery….he was a bigamist! LOL

              Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t see the harm in the two of you perhaps having a second “date”. It doesn’t have to be at your house. Not out on the lake either, if you won’t want to. Isn’t there any other place you could go….. hmm maybe a nice restaurant, or watch a play at a theatre togheter and talk afterwards, or go out where there is some nice scenery/park areas and have a picnic, or o bowling, or to see a movie in the cinema, or, an old museum of weird thins that you both might like… I mean there must be a thousand things, if you think about it. 🙂
    But, if you really dislikethe uy, you shouldn’t go. But all these things you are talking about does not seem to have to do with you disliking him as a man/a a person. Just saying. 🙂 Perhaps worth one more shot to see what it feels like. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’d opt for a restaurant although I’m such a cheap date…LOL…in that I don’t eat very much. I don’t dislike him. I just think I’m scared because i despise men and he’s a nice guy.
      Hell, I’ll probably go somewhere with him but not on that flipping motorcycle! He did say he would drive it here and then we could take my car. Sure. Everybody always wants to take my car. LOL

      Liked by 1 person

      • See! I told you. Fear is not really a valid reason to blow someone off. Sorry! 😀
        He is a nice guy, as you say, so I believe he could deserve the chance, meaning at least a second date (if he doesn’t disgust you as a man/person, then it is a no-go, of course). I think it could be fun for you guys to go out at least one more time to see if there is some connection there. There seems to be some reason that you reconnected after all these years…
        Remember, you have the power.. You can pull away anytime that you like, if you are feeling overwhelmed, or not liking him all of a sudden. One or two dates doesn’t mean any commitment. 🙂 Let us know how it goes. Hugs!

        Like

        • I know there’s no connection but I wouldn’t mind having a “friend.”
          Oooh…I found a dime and a penny today. I used to find a dime and a penny every time I went out. I googled it and it said it was from angels. LOL
          I need to tell learning…..

          Liked by 1 person

          • Perhaps you can be friends to begin with and just roll with it and see what happens. My mother’s friend, a woman who was tired of men, she was friends with her husband at first, for 6 months. Now they have been married for 30 years. So you never know. 🙂 I am hoping that penny and the dime thing is from the angels. 🙂

            Like

            • Friends? What’s that? LOL I thought married people were always supposed to be friends. I sure found out the hard way. This is most likely going nowhere and I won’t be crushed if it doesn’t. Actually, I would prefer that it go nowhere.

              Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s