My Date

I’m not sure there was a Zsa Zsa Gabor moment (that saying that was used on Sex In The City.)  I can never remember what it is and I need to write it down.

I got there and he met me with a great big hug and the comment “you look great!”  We talked a minute about my car….everybody loves my car.  He drove his motorcycle and as far as motorcycles go, it was okay, I guess.  I liked the color (sort of royal blue.)
I parked but realized it was a police parking space.  I was going to move it to another space and somebody pulled in right in front of me.  Damnit!

He got in my car and we drove up the street and parked in a parking lot, got out and then saw all the “towing zone” signs.  I finally found a place that required me to parallel park.  He had the audacity to ask me if I could do it.  I was incensed and considered throwing him out of my car at that instant, but he was remembering that his ex couldn’t park in a straight line.  (Don’t you just love having somebody “assume” you’re just like the last one?)

Needless to say, I parked my car perfectly.  He said he was impressed.  (Damn straight, Skippy…and it’s not going to be the last time you’re going to be impressed.)

It was so strange to see this big, tall man sitting in my front seat.  No man has ever been in my car.  Loser not only was in my last car, he drove it so I tossed it and got another one.  I didn’t want that memory of seeing him or have to touch anything that he had put his cheating hands on.  (How was I to know what he had just had those nasty things on?)  Yuck!

We walked down to the restaurant and got a table close to the window so he could see if he got a ticket for parking in a policemans’ spot.
He ordered chicken wings (ick) and a Miller Light.  I ordered fried pickles and water.  He laughed at me and I understood.  I had never heard of fried pickles and the first time I saw one, I thought I might throw up in my mouth a little bit but when I tried one, they were actually quite good.
Now, you can’t take them with you because if you try to heat them up, they turn into little crusty pieces of shoe leather.

The food came and before we started eating, he looked at me and said “you know, you look almost exactly the same way you did in high school.”  I’m thinking to myself “bullshit.”  He said that he recognized me instantly at the reunion last year.  He may have been telling the truth because he doesn’t really look that much different than he did in high school.  He still has his hair and all of his teeth.  I didn’t recognize anybody at the reunion except him and one other girl.
He made the comment that we had both “held up pretty well.”

The inevitable question came up, “did I have children.”  I really didn’t know what to say but I smiled and said “yes.”  I think he could tell I was hesitant so he said he bet they were all grown now.  I started to say “define grown” but nodded and said they were.
He has a 14 year old boy and a 12 year old girl.  I told him that if he wanted any more, I had a few I would let him have cheap and they were already house-broken.  We both laughed.

I had been reading his body language the whole time and he was at ease and the proper wrinkles circled his eyes when he laughed…as they should if it is a genuine laugh.  I caught myself looking at his hands.  They were nice hands, like Losers’.  Then my wall started going up as I thought “could I ever see those hands touching me?  NO!”
I must have shivered out loud because he asked me if I was cold.

Apparently, I live near a lake.  He is familiar with where I live and suggested that he bring his boat down and we could have some fun…laking or whatever.  We talked a little about the beach and he shares my view that the beach is okay but he stopped and said “look around.  How can you get any better than this?”  He was of course, talking about my mountains.

He has to pay his ex-wife alimony, even though she cheated on him and also has to pay child support.  He still has enough money to play and have a good life, so there’s not much danger that I would end up having to pay HIS taxes and tuition.

I was comfortable and at ease.  We caught up on a few friends we knew back in the day.   I asked him if he had any luck on that dating site.  He said he had gotten a few messages but they all “looked so old.”  I told him we WERE old.  He again repeated that we had held up pretty well.  I will say that he doesn’t look “worn out” like so many people our age.  He said he hadn’t really expressed any interest in any of the women and was just so excited when he got my message.

We finished our lunch and he walked me back to my car.  On the way, he said “I just had a great time.  We should do this again…if you want to.”  I gave my best enthusiastic “sure” and he gave me another hug.

I really don’t know about this lake thing.  I’m not really a water person and I don’t want to have to fight “skeeters, sharks and swamp thangs.”

My last boating experience wasn’t something that went down in the annals of my diary.  I came home from work one day and Loser announced that we were going “out on the boat” that week-end.  When I asked him whose boat, he said “my boat.”  He had gone out and bought a boat.  I was in it twice.  It was a nice boat (I guess.)  It floated, which was important to me but it just represented one more place where a lot of drinking was going to be going on.

I’ll probably see him again…..unless the Tarot cards were right.

 

 

 

24 thoughts on “My Date

  1. Ok, first, I LOVE fried pickles. MMMmmm. He sounds really nice, and hell, a guy with a boat? I’d be sold, lol.

    The first date after divorce is always hard. You’re lucky that you already knew him, and had things to talk about. He seems nice and genuinely interested. Just relax. It’s so normal. I’m gonna suggest you just take a little time and try to figure out where your fear comes from. Is it a learned behavior from Loser or a real fear with this guy? Cuz so much of what scares us is because the assholes we were married to taught us so fucking well.

    Xo

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      • It will be work. But it’s possible. And totally worth it. You DO deserve to be treated well. I’m thinking lucky you!

        And yeah your guard us up, rightfully so. But just take it slow, let him earn your trust. Watch Brene Brown’s talk “the anatomy of trust”. She really lays it out. How to let someone earn your trust, the right way. I’ve watched 10 tines. I didn’t have enough guard up. I think you have too much. Xo.

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    • Ha. If you saw some of the pictures of the men who responded to me, you would understand why having hair and teeth was a plus.
      If you’re not fishing..what are you doing? I figure….laking. LOL

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  2. It doesn’t have to go anywhere and it doesn’t have to be romantic. It can just be a fun time with an old school friend. Any doubts, check him out, just a few clicks and it’s done. ( on demand court records- your state…….the only info that you have to type in when the info page pops up is his last name…….disregard all other questions…..then look for his name…..it’s a free site) If you don’t find out anything bad about him, meet him at the boat . Love me some fried dill pickles.

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      • There are a lot of different sites that require fees, but there is also one that is free. I just pulled it up for SC and it was the first sight. Under ” On Demand Court Records” was WWW l.odcr.com. When you click on a fill out form will pop up, don’t put any info in but the last name. More info kicks it out. Don’t know why but it happened with me when I put in more than the last name. It also popped right up when I put in NC.

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    • I’ve been fighting another post. I am already running….hiding….wanting to turn my phone off….trying to come up with a believable excuse when he calls and wants to come down here.
      What the fuck is wrong with me? This is a nice guy and I am scared to death of him.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Isn’t this the first date you’ve had since your divorce? If so, sounds like a pretty good one to me! Even if there’s no zing or whatever it is, he’s a nice man who gives you the attention you deserve. I say there’s no down side! Yay! 😉😄

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    • Oh, yeah. The first time I’ve even been around another man since I left Loser almost eleven years ago. He’s a nice guy but I don’t see it going anywhere. I am impressed that he remembered that song that I used to play all the time. I told him I had it on my Ipod and he just hollered. LOL

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Ok, first things first: Tsa tsa tsu, or I guess it can be spelled tza tza tzu, either way. 🙂 Heheh.
    I am glad it seemed to go so well when you met this man! You didn’t seem to get any strange weirdo serial killer vibes, so that’s good! 😉 I LOVE that you were able to park the car perfectly. I also love that sentence: “Apparently I live near a lake”, hahaha! 😀

    I can say that there are wonderful times to be had out on a boat on a lake, it can be very romantic, if you are with someone you like. 🙂 But, if there is even 1 % serial killer vibe, I wouldn’t go out on a lake with that person…. then they would have their freakin’ murder weapon all around the boat, lol. Just kidding. About your concerns: I don’t think you need to worry about “skeeters, sharks and swamp thangs” (another great laugh!!). I do not believe you live in an area with alligators, so you should be fine. There’s probably fish deep down, but they busy, girl. Lol. And skeeters… well, there is usually a little bit of wind on the lake, I guess, so they be gone, girl. 🙂 You can bring that insect spray/creme, whatever, if you want. The most important thing: Wear a life jacket!!! Just in case. Oh… by the way. Good sign that he hugged you and you didn’t seem disgusted by it. 🙂 I am wondering where all this will lead…. hmmm. Interesting. Hugs.

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    • LOL. No, there are no gators where I am. I just don’t know if I’m ready to get out on a boat with somebody. It’s not really my thing…and if I did, I would surely wear a jacket. That’s one thing that pissed Loser off. I demanded that he have life jackets on his boat…never mind that it was the law….you know him. He thought he was above the laws of God and man and he didn’t give a shit about what I thought.
      I just don’t know. I’m already feeling obligated or something….don’t like that feeling at all.

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        • You know, having lunch was okay…out in public, where it’s easier to maintain a facade of sorts…but I am just too damaged. I know myself and if I’m already getting the heebie-jeebies at the thought of him coming to see me….there’s something really wrong with me. 😦

          Liked by 1 person

  5. But how will you know if the tarot cards were right unless you see him again?

    That “Held up pretty well” comment is annoying. I don’t know maybe I’m just sensitive but it seems like an insult inside a fake compliment.

    As for parallel parking…I think many people aren’t able to do it and then there’s the stereotypical stuff when it comes to women drivers. I’ve gotten a lot of practice living on my street for the last 13 years. I have a young neighbor (a man) who can’t parallel park for shit so he’ll park in the most open area on the street he can find.

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    • I guess I’ll know if the Tarot cards were right if he starts getting too “clingy.” The “held up pretty well” didn’t bother me. It’s better than “we really let ourselves go.” LOL
      I do think that most men STILL think women are shit drivers. He said something when we came up to a “round-about.” I just looked at him and reminded him that I knew how to drive. Hell, even Loser was impressed that I knew how to parallel park his big SUV. Asshole.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah the assumptions are ridiculous. My mother is a much better driver than my father ever was and I’m a better driver than a lot of men I know. Having a job that entailed a lot of driving for a few years made me a very aware and defensive driver. Two things that are quite necessary in this area. Some of the things I see on the roads around here are crazy. Oh boy now I’m rambling.

        And yes you are right about the “held up pretty well” as opposed to “damn you look like shit.”

        I suppose if he starts ringing your phone obsessively that might give it away that you should stay away as well.

        Hope it all goes well though. So far he sounds like an Ok guy. Time will tell.

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