I just got out of the dentists’ chair. I am full of stitches and my face is swollen and numb. Yay! Ten years ago, I broke a crown. It was no big deal….I just super-glued it back together and it held for quite a while.
I was working so there wasn’t time for extensive dental appointments. After I quit working, the “families” of my two oldest daughters and of course, Loser and I were eating lunch at some restaurant. I was trying to be careful not to eat too much on that broken crown. The next thing I knew, I had swallowed it. It must have gone down smooth because I didn’t realize it until I noticed it was gone.
It was time to go to the dentist and have it replaced. I had moved away from Loser so I found a dentist where I was. When he tried to pull the rest of the crown off, the whole tooth came out.
So….I looked like the sister/wife of a man named Bubba. The loss of that tooth was going to require an implant. Nothing like expensive…extensive dental surgery. Most people my age and even younger have suffered bone loss and need grafts for an implant. Always having to be different, I am the exact opposite. The dentist actually cut away bone.
So far, so good. He cut my gum open and drilled in that little steel peg. Normally, it would take up to six months for it to heal but I was on the mend much faster……until…………
I was out in my garage and I stepped on a fucking golf ball. I had been tripping over, stepping on and picking up golf balls for the last twenty-five years. I HATED them. Needless to say, I was falling so I grabbed what I could put my hands on and it happened to be a big steel tool box. The tool box and I both hit the concrete garage floor. Fortunately for the tool box, my face softened its blow and it suffered no damage.
My face, however, didn’t fare so well. A few cracked bones and of course, the implant was knocked loose. Since I have an abundance of bone, they cut open my gums, harvested some bone and packed it around the implant. After six months, it was still loose.
Great. They decided to put another one right beside the first one. Six more months. About four months later, they checked and decided to remove the first one. More healing time, since I now had a pretty deep hole in my gum.
I lost count of how many “final deliveries” had been promised but the last trip to Florida was supposed to be the last “final delivery.” I was so excited…it had been more than two years. I got up and was ready to hit the road for home when I heard “pop.” The fucking implant crown had cracked. I almost went into orbit.
I seriously thought about getting my gun out of the trunk of my car and hunting somebody down but decided not to. I called the dentist and of course, they were shut. I called the emergency number and left a message. The dentist called me back in less than an hour and promised me he would have a replacement on Monday. Geeze! Was I ever going to get back home?
I went in first thing this morning and he was carving the crown off. He was resting on my bottom lip and it was hurting so I kicked him. (Not really.) Somehow, the tool he was using, hit my bottom tooth and cracked it in half. Yay! More fun.
He told me that I was going to have to come back in five days and he would put in another implant as the tooth was destroyed. My response? I DON’T THINK SO! I told him I wasn’t leaving without something being done about my tooth.
They had to call another office and get the surgical instruments brought over to that office, since they were in the process of doing an implant on another patient. It took three hours but I have another steel peg in my lower jaw. Where’s Bubba?
I’ll have to make the drive back down here to have the crown put on that implant peg. He said normally, he would tell me to wait four months but it would probably be healed in two. Great. I’m beginning to think I should just have them all pulled. Hey, how many teeth do you need to drink Boost? It’s not like I’d have to gum it to death.
I had finally made it up to 99 pounds. When I hit 100, I was going to do a “braggart post.” Now, I’m going to be back on my liquid diet again. Damnit!
Why the hell didn’t that Tarot card reader see this coming? My dentist is not tall or light skinned. He does have black hair, though and believe me, we have had plenty of drama!
Oh, well. so much for my life.
I have been in touch with my high school friend and I will post about it. He was planning a trip but told me he was going to cancel it if he could get together with me. Yikes. I don’t even know how to respond to that kind of gesture….somebody thinking about me….instead of themselves.
When he called me yesterday (he thought I was going to be back and so did I) he was sitting out on his front porch, drinking a “cold one” and shooting a pellet gun. So….so far, he’s a beer-drinking, gun-shootin’, bar-playing, motorcycle-riding guy. EVERYTHING I ALWAYS WANTED! (He plays drums in a band and they play on the week-ends.)
Loser was always putting together bands. He played the guitar (fine, hand-made Martins that I bought for him) or electric ones (that I bought for him) so I’m well versed in the listening to music in a bar while everybodys’ drinking scene.
The motorcycle thing is not so much a sore point with me unless they’re flying their Confederate flag from it or they have a picture of it tattooed on their chest. My son-in-law has one and my dear friend who died from a brain tumor had two. They are both class acts and the motorcycles were sort of “toys.” My friend actually left one of his to Loser but he couldn’t be bothered to come down and get it so he left it with me. It became community property for the divorce.
My friend wants to see me Wednesday and Thursday and I feel sure he’ll want me to come listen to his band this week-end. Not sure I’m up for that. Is he already being “too clingy?”