Home » A Wasted Life » My Adventure – Part Two

My Adventure – Part Two

I made an appointment with the ‘flitty” woman to get my cards read and then went back to my room to wait.  All of a sudden, my phone rang.  It was my friend from high school.  He went on and on about how happy he was that I had contacted him and how much we had to catch up on.  He told me he would drive to see me if I wanted or we could meet somewhere.

He kept talking about that record that I played over and over and over.  I remember it well.  I went without lunch the day it was released so that I could buy it.  It was a little 45rmp and it cost 49¢.  He sounded so excited and I got the sense that it was genuine excitement.  He said “we’re not spring chickens anymore, but I still look good (which he does) and you still look great (what else was he going to say? You look like a dog who has been chained up for forty years and has almost starved to death?)

I told him I was in Florida and I would be back the next week-end.  He asked me to text him as soon as I got back and I told him I would.  We hung up just in time for me to make my appointment.

The flitty woman shuffled the cards and spread them out.  She told me to pick ten cards.  I picked them and she turned them over one at at time.  The look on her face wasn’t quite a gasp but it was close and she tried to hide it.

Right off the bat she said “who is the tall, light-skinned, dark-haired man?”  I told her there were only two men in my life…my ex and my son but my son didn’t have dark hair and Losers’ was white.  I told her that neither of them had light skin but they were both tall.  She looked puzzled but stood firm.  I said “oh, I just a minute ago, got off the phone with a guy I knew in high school.”

She said “stay away from him.”  I asked her what she meant and she said “I see clingyness, possessiveness and drama.  Stay away from him.”

I wasn’t sure she was right but she continued.  She said “the woman your ex is living with hates you.”  That was interesting, since I hadn’t mentioned anything about the WTC.  She said “she is doing everything she can to undermine you.”  She went on to say “(Loser) is constantly comparing her to you.”  I said “nope.  He would never do that and besides, she would never stand for it.”  She smiled and said “he does it mentally.”  I said “well, you know, she’s going to college and I never did so he’s probably comparing my stupidity against her brilliance.”  Again, she smiled and said “no. That’s not how he’s comparing you.”

She told me not to undertake anything having to do with my house in October.  I guess finally painting my walls is out.

Then she said “somebody is going to ask you to take a trip.  DON’T GO.  Even it they beg you, DON’T GO.”  I asked her if I was going to be okay, driving back home and she said “yes, I see this happening later.”  ( *I’ll put a freaky footnote at the end of this post *.)

She told me not to get any new pets around November.  (Does that include boy-toys?)

Well, by now, my life was looking like everything was coming up roses so, pray…continue.

She said “you are going to have a re-occurrence of an illness.  DON’T IGNORE IT.”  Hmmmm.  I wonder if it could be another raging Herpes attack coupled with a silent UTI that renders me almost septic, like it did two years ago. Thanks ever so much Loser…you lying, cheating, scum-sucking, piece of pig-shit, disease-giving, tramp-loving, man-whore, mother-fucking mamas’ boy.  (I’m trying to be nice.)

Had it not been for my oldest daughter (although Loser was there), I would have laid on my sofa and died.  (He was too busy texting that WTC to notice or care that I was sick.)

She motioned to my sides, which could mean anything.  I know that I’m bad to break my ribs.  I have a tendency to lean over things and since I don’t have much padding, I crack my ribs all the time.  A broken rib could result in a punctured lung which could cause a pneumothorax and that wouldn’t be good.

Last year, I almost cut my arm in half with a saw.  I finished chopping down the tree and went in the house to clean up the blood and open the wound to see how deep it was.  I assessed it as not being anything life-threatening, which is how I usually look at fractured ribs so maybe I’ll be on guard.

She did say that I would start a successful venture.  (Prostitution, maybe?)  You know what they say…”the girls all get prettier at closing time.”  I could hang out in a bar like the WTC and if somebody was desperate enough, maybe they wouldn’t notice (or care) that I was an old tramp and would be willing pay for my companionship.

I went back to my room and started trying to figure out who this mystery man was.  My high school friend has light skin and is tall but he has blonde hair.   Since my intention is to never see Loser again, how could it be him?  He did have dark hair when he was younger but it was dark brown and there is never going to be any clingyness, possessiveness or drama with him.  I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

The next encounter with the flitty woman was seeing her outside again.  She was smoking a cigarette and offered me a free palm reading.  Maybe she felt bad for me after reading my cards.

*Here’s the freaky footnote.*

I was just invited to take a trip.



33 thoughts on “My Adventure – Part Two

  1. LWL – your two posts cracked me up. It is freaky to some extent, but the first dude was hilarious (in the pathetic sense, of course), this other woman gives me the shivers. As always, your writing is awesome. You made my day – thanks for this! 🙂 PS: don’t take the trip. 😉


  2. Oh lord. That is indeed scary! It sounded like there was so much darkness in that reading…. an illness… a man who is apparently not good for you(?) and a disaster trip, if you go. Oh my. Did she have aaaanything good to say? 😛 Just kidding. Maybe she has it right, and then you should obviously be careful about all those things, the disease/illness, the man, and travelling, too!
    Wow, this was sort of scary! Brrrr.
    By the way, I posted that silly love story. Haha. 🙂


    • I would say she’s full of shit but the trip thing is so freaky…she might be right.
      One of my children was laughing out loud when they said (about that WTC)….”she’s not much to look at and she can’t compare to you in any way.”

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh dear Laurel!
    Perhaps give it a miss…better to be safe than sorry!
    You certainly have a humorous way of telling a story. I enjoyed it, despite its underlying pain.
    Hope you heed her warnings and take extra special care of yourself. ❤


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s