Home » A disease-Giving Husband » A Lump Of Coal

A Lump Of Coal

I am a lump of coal.

I am lifeless and dull.

I have sharp edges

that were caused by

pieces of me being chipped away.

I was tossed into pile of dirt

where I lie hidden.

I have been here for a while

and it’s a dark place.

I don’t recognize where I am.

I hope to be found

before it is too late

and I turn into dust.

I was a diamond

but my shine was never seen.

Nobody took the time to polish me.

It was easier to overlook me

and settle for cheap paste

that looked good at first glance.

Cheap requires no effort.

No need to shape and hone.

It’s available to anybody

who will pay for company

and is looking for easy.

Anybody who can’t see the difference

between precious

and common

and is willing to accept trash

instead of class.

When the paste turns cloudy

I will be shining

from a distance

and you will be blinded

by the light

that you could never see.

 

46 thoughts on “A Lump Of Coal

        • No, it really sucks. And it gets real old. Especially when they have a smart wisecrack coming out of their mouth.
          You must have mor patience than me….
          First one was 7 years.
          This one is going on 25.
          And he’s a control freak. A emotional and financial abuser. And I’ve about had it. You know when the dam is about to break…..;)

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            • I know how much money he makes. I just don’t know where it goes. It goes mostly to his toys that are expensive..
              And my name is not on the checking account. He keeps changing his password too.
              I’m just getting tired.
              I don’t like cooking anymore…and I used to love that. Probably because he insults the cook. And thats a no no in my book.
              My life is lovely.

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            • Dam I hate this phome. It is all I have for connection to the world. I don’t know if it just blew away my last comment or not.
              I notice on the internet, people.are saying their phones are typing weird things..words too. So..im not crazy yet. Lol.
              I had dentures at 45? Because he didnt get my dental taken care of like it should have been. But….he did buy a 60,000.00 truck. Priorities I guess….
              And my dentures broke 5 years ago. Still don’t have new ones. But…..he did get a bank loan three times. And get a new vehicle. He got the vehicle because he thought our car was on the last payment. Silly him….they were fixing to send him the other book of payments. So it was only half paid. Ha ha ha.
              What a idiot. So now, this new jeep is 140.00 more a month.
              And I guess I wont get dentures.
              But his teeth mattered. He had them taken care of.
              Who wants a toothless person???? People have reactions to them..like ewwww….look at that. I’ve seen it and heard it. And see what people write.
              My life was always complicated it seems.
              Maybe they were tests I don’t know. I’m beginning to fail this one. I feel alone.

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            • Look up the word gaslighter. That is part of him. Most people do not know this word. Even therapists.
              I ran across this accidently.

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  1. Hello again Laurel, just.. by the way, I thought I would tell you that I was chatting a little bit with another blogger friend, and I happened to mention you. We were talking about his situation, where his sociopath ex had manipulated all the children into not having a relationship with him (the dad)… I just sort of mentioned that I had come across two other bloggers with that situation… and he asked me who these bloggers were, and said it could be nice to share stories. That is why I told him about your blog. Now, I will tell you about his blog, too, just in case you want to check it out. I really like this guy and he has supported me a lot, even though now he only posts like once a week, (he has a new fiancee who’s pregnant and all). Anyway, here is a link to his blog, and his latest blog post, which I found quite heartbreaking…… 😦 https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/34871637/posts/973660974

    Perhaps you would like to read it, if you have time. I just thought, since he asked about my other bloggies with similar experiences and all.. Hope it was ok for me to mention you..
    Hugs!

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  2. We shall call this fantastical poetic Monday, wonderful Laurel. Yes, too often appreciation is abandoned for what is considered more bright and shiny, but the dullness One sees is often merely the reflection of their own dusty self….keep shining…shine bright like a diamond ⭐️

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  3. FYI…..You have been found….HELLO, we’re all here…..Nothing wrong with coal, we southern bitches know that basic black and pearls will take us anywhere.

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  4. The first thing I am thought about when reading this was the coal miners daughter, lol. I think because I just heard an interview with her/ Loretta Lynn and how different her life is now but yet she thinks she is the same person. How she had 9 children, but lost 4 and how angry that made her. How she was dragged away from her family as well and how that depressed her, but she was only 14 when married and what a life she had. I bet she would love that poem, it seems like so many people have their own tale – so similar but so different.

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      • I think during that time I was in private mode, it’s not longer private but I haven’t posted lately so not much to miss 🙂

        Yes you will. It took me a very long time to realize that fact. I had to understand getting validation whether it be from men or others was not a measure of my worthlyness. My self worth came from within. The abuse from these men have changed our way of life. I know for myself a simple thing such as dancing has me terrified. Why ? Because I’ve come to associate that with someone who has loose morals. And that’s just not right. Dancing is a normal activity just like any other.

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