Home » A Wasted Life » Okay. Last Post About The Dating Site.

Okay. Last Post About The Dating Site.

Oh, my Lucy.  I hate to give up the hilarity of my experiences but it’s becoming ridiculous.

Bachelor #1

56 years old.  6’9″ tall.  His message is “I’m over six feet tall and I can shoot pool.”
“Give me a break and I’m not talking about on the pool table.  You may be tall but obviously you can’t read.”

Bachelor #2

71 years old.  5’9″ tall.  His message is “you are very pretty and know what you want.  I applaud that.”  He goes on to say that his interests are going to the beach, playing pool and he is looking for a long-term relationship.
“Thank you for the applause.  I will now curtsy and take my leave.”

Bachelor #3

62 years old. 5’11” tall.  His message is “great straightforward profile.  I don’t sleep with my animals.  I don’t even have any.  You are an interesting lady.  I haven’t found many honest people here.  Are you real?”  He then says “if you’ll give me an inch, I’d like to get to know you.”
“You like straightforward?  Okay.  You said you don’t have any animals, yet your profile says you have (and love) your dog.  How do you know I’m interesting?  You don’t know me.  You haven’t found many honest people here?  Maybe YOU should be honest and see if that helps.  Am I real?  No.  I am a cardboard cut-out and you’re not going to be allowed to play with my paper-dolls.  If I give you an inch, what are you going to ask for next?”

Bachelor #4

69 years old.  5’9″ tall.  His messages are “like to meet you baby.  Like to talk to you sometimes, baby.  Let’s talk sometimes, baby.”
“I’m not your baby.  I don’t care what your interests are.  ‘Nough said.”

Bachelor #5

56 years old.  5’10” tall.  His interests are the beach, the casino and football.  He loves to watch games in bars, while playing pool.  His message was “I’d love to chat and get to know you.”  When I messaged him that there was too much of an age difference, his message was “what?  Too old for you?  You like them younger?
“Yes.  I prefer jail bait.  It makes the experience so much more exciting, especially with the possibility of getting caught.  Did I mention that Mary Kay Letourneau is my best friend?”

Bachelor #6

41 years old.  5’7″ tall.  He loves all kinds of sports and has a favorite sports bar.  He loves boating and camping.  He had pictures of all his animal heads mounted on his wall.  His message was “hello, beautiful.  You sure don’t look your age.  Are you sure you’re not lying?”
“No, I’m not lying and you are too young.” 
He responds “I bet you’re a good kisser.”
“Yep.  That’s what I said.  I’m one hell of a kisser. I bet you are too, so bend over, put your head between your knees and kiss your own butt.”

Bachelor #7

66 years old.  6′ 2″ tall.  This one is my high school friend.  He remembered the apartment I had when I was working and trying to save money for college.  It seems like I remember him taking me home once.  (Apparently, we used to hang out.  Yikes.  I don’t remember.)  He remembers the Supremes’ song that he says I “played over and over and over.”  I remember which one he was talking about.
I told him that I had a blog and was posting humorous stories about my escapades on this dating site.
He asked me to write one about him.  (?)
He’s going somewhere (I can’t remember) and will be back on Thursday.  He said it would be great to get together and gave me his phone number.  Now…here’s where I stumbled.  He asked me if I rode motorcycles.
“Your age is perfect.  Your height is perfect.  I used to know you and you were a nice guy.  Trust me.  You don’t want me to write about you and you’re not suitable fodder anyway.  Being a proper Southern gal, I don’t call men.  You must call me.  And, the mention of motorcycles leaves me asking…am I going to have to beat you severely about the face and shoulders?”

I’ll let you know.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

27 thoughts on “Okay. Last Post About The Dating Site.

  1. Very entertaining postπŸ’•
    “Are you sure you’re not lying? ” ….what woman would lie to say they were older than they are? Besides isn’t he calling you old by saying that?….
    He might as well have said “you dont look like an old lady….”

    And the one with “give me an inch”….what the hell does that mean? It is like he is saying you should be more accomodating or something…I dont know but it sounds very manipulative….Give him an inch as opposed to what? What more are you supposed to do than chat with him?

    You don’t even know him. Maybe you should tell him..”sorry sweetie. If you need another inch you better get some Viagra. Can’t help you there.. “

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    • That’s hilarious! (About the inch!) I wish I had thought of that. These guys are almost pitiful. I feel sorry for some of them because they’re probably just lonesome old men. I have been told that I don’t look my age so maybe that’s why I get asked that question all the time but you’re right….what woman is going to lie about being older than she is? It has been a good experience…seeing what’s out there (at least around here) and trying to decypher the lingo used by these men. The best thing is that it has provided some humorous posts! πŸ™‚

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  2. I have to wonder if Bachelor #4 is literate. Lol.

    I noticed how many are into pool too. It’s fairly popular around here as well, Not sure I’d get so many responses like that though. But then a dating site isn’t even on my radar at the moment.

    I’m not a fan of motorcycles either.

    But you know sometimes seeing an old friend from ‘back in the day’ can give you more butterflies than when you’re getting ready to meet up with someone completely new.

    Is he seriously on the same dating site as you?

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  3. Forgive the motorcycle. He can’t be perfect because no one is. But he might surprise you. Heck, you might surprise yourself! I rarely call men first so what I do when they give me their number and tell me to call them, I send them my number, tell them “you call me” and just wait for them to contact me. If they are interested, they’ll do so in a heartbeat. Works every time.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. looool. πŸ˜€ It can be tiring with dating sites… so many people never even bother to read one’s profile, etc. I must say i am amazed that there are so many men who write you, that “like to shoot pool” and/or ride a motorcycle… what’s up with that? Lol. Interesting about your high school friend though!! Perhaps you should talk some more with him, see if there is anything there?
    My mother is currently in a relationship again, with her higschool sweetheart… they hadn’t seen each other in 4o years or something like that, and then they fell in love again when they met… πŸ™‚
    Maybe “recycling” isn’t all bad… hehehe. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Do you know the actor Lee Marvin? The relationship he had with Michele Trivola was the start of “palimony.” Anyway, after his career was over and he kicked Michele out, he went home and found his high school sweetheart. They got married and lived happily until he died.
      I think the pool and motorcycles have something to do with where I am. Pool usually goes along with a bar. That’s where Loser picked up that WTC….in a bar, playing pool. It’s a staple with some parts of the South, I think.
      Is your mom going to marry him? My high school sweetheart is on his second marriage. He had the filthiest mouth you ever heard in school….now he’s a missionary. LOL
      Even if he was single, there wouldn’t be anything closely resembling a spark. He would be preaching to me all the time and that wouldn’t work for me.
      I’ll probably see my friend but he has a motorcycle too! UGH!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I do not think I know that actor… but yes there is another example of old loves reconnecting, then! πŸ™‚
        Yes, it seems to be a local thing where you are living. I must say, where I live, it is quite rare to find a man who has those interests, I think. πŸ™‚
        I think it is very fitting the way Loser met her… not really romantic, lol. Lke I said.. any port in a storm… for those 2, lol.

        I have heard mom talking about that they will perhaps get married. Although.. I am not sure. She sure seems to love him a lot. But I think he can sometimes be a bit too grumpy/snapping at her. He has a lot of good sides too, I am sure, but that bit makes me a bit uncertain.. but, as long as she is happy, and she says she is, I am happy for her.
        I think you should try to talk to your friend a bit more, see what he is about, these days. You know, if he has a lot of good sides…and the motorcycle is the “only” bad thing… maybe…. you know, you could flirt a little, at least.. πŸ˜‰

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        • I know he’s coming off a divorce to a woman who was 21 years younger. I’m not sure they had any children. It would be nice to have a pal to hang out with every now and then, I will admit but I’m not looking to be tied down and I will NEVER get married again. Who knows, next week I may be posting that “zippy dee do dah.” (I can’t remember that “sex in the city quote.) LOL

          Liked by 1 person

          • A pal to hang out with doesn’t sound too bad! πŸ™‚

            Lol x 10 (lol times 10) ! πŸ˜€ By “zippy dee do dah”, I assume you mean the expression “tza tza tzu” (or I think it can be spelled with an “s” aswell), that means …spark, or passion. πŸ™‚
            You are so hilarious! It is 06 AM here, when I actually read this comment properly now, and I am waaay to tired to read funny stuff like this, hahaha! Thanks for making me laugh. Hugs. (Oh and naturally I hope there is Tza tza tzu with your friend!).

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