Home » A disease-Giving Husband » The Ridiculousness Is Never Ending

The Ridiculousness Is Never Ending

And it continues…..

56 years old and “loves the Lord.”  Loving the Lord didn’t stop him from telling me that he’d “love to wrap his arms around my body, squeeze me tight and feel my warmth.”
(First, my picture doesn’t show my body.  Hell, for all you know I could be a horseless headsman.  Second, if you think being a Lord lover is going to get you into MY church, you’re sadly mistaken.)

This one is great.  His message was “five foot two, eyes of blue…would surely like to be with you.”
(Well thank you, “poet wannabe” but I’m really not interested in having to pick my dates up to kiss them goodnight.)

71 years old and says “my God!  Where have you been all my life?”  He’s quite the braggart.  He says “I want you to know that I am ‘fully functional’ and I could ‘pleasure you’ in ways you’ve never dreamed of.”
(Okay, whip that thing out and let’s have a look.  You bring your Viagra and I’ll bring my gun.  Let’s see who shoots first.)

Another 56 year old.  His interests are playing pool, riding motorcycles, drinking beer and fishing.  His message is “Yummy.  I bet your kisses taste sweet.”
(Yes they do but you’re not going to be tasting them and I think you have me confused with Losers’ WTC.)

64 years old and describes himself as “blah, blah, blah, blah.”  He’s on his Harley, holding a Confederate flag.  His message was “hello gorgeous.  I’d like to have you on my lap.”
(I’m hooked.  I’ve been looking for “blah, blah, blah, blah.”  Hop on your Harley and beat feet over here….right now!  And don’t forget to bring your flag!  Hell, I bet you even take the dishes out of the sink before you pee in it.)

This one is 66 years old.  He lives in the mountains.  His messages have been pretty innocuous so far.  I haven’t responded in the last couple of days but today I got a message that said “I’m proud to be WHITE and Southern.”
*This was my actual response*
(Okay.  You lost me at your capitalized “white.”  Are you going to show up for a date dressed in sheets and carrying a burning cross?  Not all Southerners are ignorant racists.  End of conversation.)

Yet another 56 year old.  He says “there’s no way you’re 65.  Baby, I’d like to take you for a ride.”  He’s into Karaoke but his first love is driving his “big rig” around and he’s looking for somebody to ride with him.
(The man of my dreams.  A singing truck driver.  I’ll be ready in 15.)

Now this one is interesting.  His message was “your to pretty to be just wanting a date.”
I was ready to compose my usual biting criticism but for some reason, I read his profile.  He had a stroke and lost 70% of the movement on his left side.  He lives in Maryland, which is of course too far away but I wasn’t apathetic toward him like I have been toward the others.
(I won’t be making fun of this man.)

 

‘Till next time………

 

 

 

29 thoughts on “The Ridiculousness Is Never Ending

  1. Viagra and gun, hahahaha!! 😀
    On a more serious note: I read that blog post by your friend the other day (Making Time For Me), who I also follow now, it was a great blog post about studies done on online dating. The number one thing for women to do was to actually initiate contact themselves, with men, ie women themselves should browse for interesting profiles and then contact those men who they find interesting. It showed a greater success rate. I do not doubt that, I heard that advice before. It is just…. it takes so much time… lol. To search for profiles, i mean… Oh, but on my site, there is a “match” function, I remember now. So you can fill out which traits / qualities you’re looking for, and then press the “match” button and magically, men with those traits appear… for instance, you can select height, eye color, interests, which town, etc. And then press match to get a list of results. I hope your dating site has a similar function. 🙂

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    • I read that too. There is a “match” button but the “matches” they suggest for me are atrocious! One of them was the guy was was proud to be “white and Southern,” and he was nice….we did seem to have some things in common but that statement just flew all over me. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your heritage….I’m Southern and proud of it but I’m not one of those “elitist whites.”

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes I know, even the Match function can be completely wrong. But at least superficially, it can be right. Lol. It is not easy, this dating thing. It sure takes a lot of time.. I still log in once in a while but there hasn’t been any new interesting candidates so far. BUT: I am guessing when spring arrives, some time in April, interesting men will pop up here and there, just like spring flowers… 🙂 I understand you completely with that man’s pride of being white… people like that are often too hateful to be around…

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        • I don’t have room in my life for people like that. One thing about my mama and daddy is that I NEVER heard them say one word about anybody…nor did my grandparents.
          I don’t care what color a person is… black, white, hispanic, purple or green. I don’t care if they’re gay, straight or bi….I don’t care what their religion is…Baptist, Catholic, Jewish or Buddhist…it doesn’t matter to me but it does matter to me if if matters to somebody else. Those kind of people would never be my friends.

          Liked by 1 person

          • I love that. We should be open minded about people from all cultures and so on. The important thing is how people behave… if they are behaving like idiots, then they are idiots, no matter their color/race/religion, etc. I, as much as you, can not really be friends with narrow-minded and intolerant people… I feel that it is just so… stupid, the way they think.

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  2. Omg, horseless headsman…I about died I that one..the imagery alone 😜, pick up your troll, Laurel lol
    Viagra and gun…..it’s a shoot off 😛
    I am dying here. Laurel, on verge of asthma. Attack laughing….pee In the sink. I bet he doesn’t lets wager on it 😏 mental note, eat out with him only or better yet, not at all.

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