Home » A Wasted Life » I Couldn’t Resist One More Post

I Couldn’t Resist One More Post

I keep saying I’m not going to post anymore of my antics with the online dating but it is getting funnier and funnier.

My latest.

66 years old.  5′ 7″ and lives in the “mountains.”  Sent me a message saying “boy!  You sure don’t look 65” and then tells me how much he loves to play music in bars and would love to buy me a drink or two.
(Hmmm….and which mountains might those be?  Oh, sure, let’s go play some music in a bar.  Maybe we can do the Texas two-step…while you’re holding your guitar and I’m singing…..before we get too drunk.)

Still getting messages from Mr. Chest hair saying “good morning, beautiful.  PLEASE let me hear from you.”
(Okay, maybe you could put on a shirt because trust me, looking at your chest does not make for a good morning.)

This one’s great.  66 years old and sends a message that says “would love to meet you baby.” He sends pictures of his yard…full of junk cars and maybe dead bodies covered up with blue tarps.  He owns a bait store.
(Wow…what’s for dinner tonight…fish….or whoever is buried out in your back yard?)

52 years old from the UK.  His message is tame enough but he looks like he is three sheets to the wind.
(You’re just a wee bit too far away and maybe next time you could take a selfie before you get hammered.)

Here’s a good one.  58 years old.  His message is “I’ve go to meet you!  We can make beautiful music together!  Please tell me you haven’t found somebody.”  He sent a picture of himself…shirtless in bed, snuggling with Cujo.
(No, I haven’t found anybody and it’s pretty obvious why you haven’t either.)

53 years old.  Sent me a message saying “how have you stayed single for so long?  I would love to show you what a real man is.”  His pictures are of himself in different bars and on the beach and he says he is a “night owl.”
(You caught me at the perfect time.  I have always wondered what a real man is.  I’ve spent my entire life on a turnip truck and I just fell off, so let’s boogie.)

73 years old.  Starts his message by calling me “sweetheart” and said “you take my breath away.”  He says “let’s meet and start a long lasting, fun, caring, honest and enduring relationship.”
(First, catch your breath.  I’m not going to give you cyber mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.  Second, let’s be honest.  I’m not your fucking sweetheart.)

Okay…enough for today.




36 thoughts on “I Couldn’t Resist One More Post

  1. Never mind then…I already had an alcoholic husband that is enough for this lifetime ..is this really the last post on these brights boys and try hands of the on line Dating scene…..this is GOLD…you know what would be even funnier, if you se them some of the replies you write on here….maybe they wouldn’t get the jokes or humour of it…..or be able to read it even 😛

    Joy Joy Joy….you make us smile😀


  2. Oh wow 😄 Reading this makes me glad I’ve never used any type of online dating service! A friend of mine recently started using one and she’s met all kinds of weirdos! 😂 Good luck with the search!


  3. Ha ha…junk car and dead bodies, I got the visual 😉hmm send me the one from uk lol does he have dark hair haha
    A Stephen King reference can never fail 😏
    A real man…..lol….do they even exist anymore 😛


  4. LOL….keep them coming. These are too good. I only wish that I was blogging when I was getting messages. Nearly all of them where asking for sex right off the bat!! Or asking me for some body dimension or telling me their own.


    • Really? I know Sam (samlobos) said that’s what she was getting. Maybe I’m not getting them because I’m old. I’m not sure what I would do if I got a request for sex. I’d probably have something funny to say about it but…..I told one of my followers that I kind of felt cheap and trashy….reading all these messages from these men…but you have to admit…they are hilarious!

      Liked by 1 person

      • OH yes, they are hillarious. I mean if you are looking for a one night stand or just someone to sleep with that is all fine and dandy, I guess you might as well get that all out in the opening statement. LOL. Made it easier to not reply 🙂


        • I have responded to very few. I do feel sorry for them. I guess they’re just looking for love (or am I being my usual self…naive?) I need to tell them that I’m not interested but I thought the “you’re too far away” would work…..nope….they’re all “willing to drive” to come have a drink…..UGH.

          Liked by 1 person

          • LOL…well…I went out to a lot of lunches with men I wasn’t the least bit interested in. Because sometimes it is nice just to go out with someone who wants to spend time with you. Especially after being with an asshole for so long. Lunch was perfect because it didn’t usually involve drinks and was never followed by an invitation to stay the night, LOL!!!


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