Today is my sons’ thirty-third birthday. I wasn’t going to post about it…until I called him to say “happy birthday.”
I asked him if he was working today and he said no. I asked him if he was off on the week-ends and he said he wasn’t working at the place anymore. He had just gotten that job a week ago.
He sounded absolutely desolate. He was grieving the circumstances that have prevented him from seeing his young son and sons’ mama. I asked him if he was drinking and he said he wasn’t “yet.”
Last night, he asked his oldest sister if he could come over and hang out a bit and she told him no. He HAD been drinking last night.
He said he was out of “smokes” and food. He asked me if I would send him some money via Western Union.
I told him to call K**** and ask her for some help and to tell her that I would pay her back. He called her and she said no. He asked her for money instead of food.
Somewhere during the conversation between he and K****, it came to light that I had called K**** a “worthless piece of shit daughter.” I found that to be interesting, especially since I would never say that and it was Loser who had used the term “worthless piece of shit” to describe J*****.
The angry J***** started to emerge and he decided to take Losers’ attitude about why he was a drunk. He said it was my uncles’ fault. Loser always blamed my uncle.
Everybody still wears those fucking blinders when it comes to those fabulous fucking H***s. Their genes are pure and even though Loser and his mama are both raging alcoholics, it HAD to have come from MY side of the family.
I wanted to crawl through the phone and commit filicide.
It is unbelievable to me that Loser still holds that kind of power over them…to not only suggest but to be able to convince them that alcoholism came from my side of the family.
I wonder how Loser and his mama happened to get THEIR gene from my uncle?
J**** placated me as usual. I reminded him that there was somebody willing to talk to him but he still refuses. I think he is worried that his “secrets” will be discussed.
There seems to be some sort of unusual bond between J***** and the man who owns the house where he’s staying. He kept saying he couldn’t “leave him.” This man is a little special in that he has allowed J***** to stay there without a job and was the one who bonded him out of jail.
It’s my sons birthday. I didn’t send him a card. I didn’t send him a gift. I guess the least I could have done was send him some money, especially since he sounded so sad.
Yeah…I’m a great mother….and I criticize Loser?