Home » A Wasted Life » It Was Over

It Was Over

It was June 26th.  The day of the final decree hearing.  I made the drive to the court-house and decided to sit outside in case Loser was already there.  I don’t know what made me think he would be because had never been on time for anything and I had always been early.  My attorney wasn’t there yet so I just waited, going through the massive files in my head, overflowing with memories, regret and anger.
It was still like a dream.  This man was the only man I had known for the last forty-one years.  My life with him was the only life I had known for the last forty-one years.  This man was my childrens’ daddy.  This man was about to exit my life forever.
Was I going to cry when the judge granted me a divorce?  Was I going to make eye contact with Loser?  Was I going to watch him walk back to his car and call for him to wait a minute so that I could give him a goodbye hug?  Those were thoughts, not wishes and I knew I wouldn’t do any of them.
It was going to be judgment time…time for monetary awards, harsh revelations and pleas for name changes.
Loser was about to lose the most precious thing in the world to him…the one thing that was even more important than his drunken mama or his beloved daddy…the one thing that was even more important than his other women whose legs were as smooth and easy to spread as creamy peanut butter.
He was about to lose his money.
The last time Loser and I met, he was trying to get me to tell him about my health and where I was going.
While he waited for me to give him information, he showed me a recent picture of B*****s’ first daughter.  He said “right now, she’ll be called G******.  When she’s in high school, she’ll be called G***.  And, when she’s a high-powered attorney, she’ll be called G*****lyn.  He had already decided what her career was going to be.
God knows it would be such a tragedy if she followed in her mama and daddys’ footsteps and became “just a fucking firefighter.”  If she does, Loser will just have to learn to live with disappointment…again.
I think when he finally realized that I wasn’t going to tell him anything, he angrily said “and if you die, MY MONEY is going to be flying around out there in cyber-space!”
Wow.  Typical, selfish, self-consumed, self-serving, self-important flea….he didn’t care about the prospect of my death….he was only concerned about his FUCKING MONEY.
I understood.  That money could buy the attachment some nice baubles…or fund another trip overseas…or pay for a LOT of beer, cigarettes and pool games at “their bar.”
Just as my attorney came walking up, I saw Loser walking at a fast pace, trying to catch up with his attorney.
Loser looked nothing like he did the last time we were in court.  He had on a rumpled sport coat, rumpled pants and a rumpled shirt.  Did that attachment let him loose looking like that?  He looked like he had just had a roll in the hay.  Hell, he probably had…or more likely…had unsuccessfully tried to.
As we walked in, it was like I was walking in slow motion.  It seemed like I’d never get there.
Loser and his attorney were on one side of the room and my attorney and I were on the other.  I had brought a tote-bag that Loser had gotten free at an exposé and given to me as a “gift.”  I had put a few more things in it that I had found, along with the manila envelope he had given me the last time we met.
He had printed out several pages of information about my ancestors.  When he gave them to me, he acted like he had done a really nice thing.  I didn’t care what he had done and I didn’t care what kind of information he had.  I didn’t even look at them.  I just returned them with a note that said “stop researching my ancestry.”
I had demanded that Loser create a will, leaving his assets to his children and not the attachment.  He had resisted but I stood firm.  My attorney wanted me to agree to settle for him to leave 50% to his children but I wasn’t going to accept that percentage.  Losers’ attorney finally hand-scribbled a promise to leave 66% to his children with the caveat that I would do the same.  By law, the attachment will automatically get a third of his assets, simply by shacking up with him.  Common law marriage is still in effect in S**** C******* (and I’m sure she knows that.)
My attorney hand-scribbled an answer and handed it to me, to approve.  I told him I wasn’t going to do it and he said “you can’t expect Loser to do something that you aren’t willing to do.”  I said “watch me.”
I took the paper, walked right up to Losers’ attorney, handed it to him and said “you know what?  I’m not going to do this.  I don’t have somebody shacking up with me for MY money.”
Losers’ attorney looked like a deer caught in the headlights.  He finally mustered “but…you might.”
Boy!  Did he step in it when he said that to me!  I looked him right in the eye and with Losers’ clenched toothed snarl, said “I don’t shack up with men outside the benefit of marriage.”
Loser (with that familiar “goddammit, you’ve backed me into a corner again” look) said “fuck it.  I’ll do it.”
I think I smiled.
My attorney said “you’re making me look incompetent.  Everything I have said you won’t get…you get.”
He said there was a possibility that since I had filed for adultery, Loser would do one of three things.  He would either admit it, lie about it or plead the fifth.  I told him that if he lied or pleaded, he was to immediately ask for a continuance and I would go get all the evidence that Losers’  friend had provided.
It was time to go into the courtroom.  There were only the four of us along with a court reporter, an officer and the judge.  We were sworn in and I (and nobody else) noticed that I held up my left hand.  When we were commanded to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I didn’t say “I do.”  The last time I said that, it  didn’t work out too well for me.  I just said “yes.”
As soon as the swearing was over, the judge asked me if there was anything the court could do to save the marriage.
I felt like I had been hit by a Mack truck.  My mind was saying “forty years is a long time to throw away but I cannot live with a man who has committed adultery over and over and over.”
I finally heard myself say “no.”
My attorney called Loser to the stand.  He asked his name and then asked him if he had ever had sexual relations outside the marriage.  I was waiting to see what Loser would say.  He hesitated and then actually said “yes.”  My attorney asked him if he was having sexual relations outside the marriage now (and inserted “because you are still married.”) Loser hesitated and again said “yes.”
Losers’ attorney asked him the usual questions…are you under the influence of any narcotics…do you understand that you have the right to ask for a trial…so on and so forth.  Then the attorney asked Loser if he believed that he had represented him to the best of his ability.  You could have heard a pin drop…literally.
Loser looked over at the judge and for a full five seconds, just stared.  He finally turned around to his attorney and through those ever-present clenched teeth and that contemptible smile, said “absolutely.”
I don’t know if the judge or his attorney could read his face, but I sure could.  What Loser was saying was tantamount to “no, you didn’t, you stupid mother fucker and you obviously don’t realize that I’m smarter than you are.”
My attorney “re-directed” a question to Loser.  He said “you gave your wife a sexually transmitted disease, didn’t you?”  Loser hesitated and said “that’s my belief.”  Then my attorney said “and you acquired that disease from one of your sexual relations outside the marriage, didn’t you?”  Again, Loser hesitated and said “that’s my belief.”
THAT’S HIS BELIEF?  What did that mean?  Was that his way of essentially denying it?  Was it his way of echoing his attachment trying to insinuate that I was a tramp by suggesting to him that “I could have gotten it from anybody?”
I wonder how she would have felt when she got pregnant after she (as Loser put it) screwed her ex-husband and he said “that kid could be anybodys’ kid.”  But women like her are incapable of feeling anything for anybody but themselves.  It’s all about them and their next meal ticket.
As soon as my attorney was through cross-examining Loser, he got off the stand, leaned down and said something to his attorney.  His attorney stood up and asked the judge if Loser could be excused.
Loser literally RAN out of the courtroom.  Once again, he proved that he is one of the biggest cowards who has ever lived.  He couldn’t stay and face the judgment.  He couldn’t stay and face me.
His reputation had now been smeared at the hands of his trusting, betrayed wife.  He had been embarrassed in front of our attorneys, the judge, the officer and the court reporter.
His adultery was now going to be public record….the one thing he didn’t want….the one thing he expected me to shield him from….the one thing that would tarnish his “celebrity status”….but it was the one thing that gave me satisfaction.
This time, I was holding the gun.
That was the last time I saw Loser but it wouldn’t be the last time we communicated.

4 thoughts on “It Was Over

  1. Sounds like Loser left there so upset that he didn’t know whether to check his ass or scratch his watch……..In other words, congrats on a job well done. Gotta love a woman with balls.

    Liked by 1 person

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