Home » A Wasted Life » The Affidavit Confrontation

The Affidavit Confrontation

I confronted Loser via email about the content of his affidavit.  I told him that I couldn’t believe what he had said about me and asked him why he did it.
He said “my attorney asked me what I thought you would write.  I said if it was anything like the letter she sent to me…and to other people who had no business knowing about our lives…I believe she will shred me into hamburger.”
He went on to say that he had been given two full pages of questions that he had to address.  I told him that I hadn’t received anything like that so I was confused.  He explained that “poor him” had to answer to things like…drug use….alcohol use…and physical abuse.  He said his attorneys’ paralegal wanted to strike the part about him hitting me.  Hats off to his attorney for telling her to leave it in.
He explained the “whole ordeal” as being “trapped into a corner….the way I used to trap him.”  Poor Loser.  He was being taken to task and he didn’t understand why he was being persecuted so he decided to make everything he had done and was doing….my fault.  Taking responsibility for anything to him, was as impossible as being faithful.
I told him that I had written nothing and I hadn’t….yet…but the gloves were off now.  I wrote my own affidavit.  I was just as brutal as he was but of course, I couldn’t take credit for trying to save a broken, damaged, starving, uneducated little boy.
In his “lovely descriptions” of me, he mentioned that in S**** C*******, I had earned my certification as an Emergency Medical Technician in 2000.  He said it was “by far MY favorite job.”  We didn’t even live in S**** C******* in the year 2000 but why would he remember the year?  It wasn’t important to him.  Remember, his daughters and sons-in-law are “just fucking firefighters.”  He never once said anything about being proud of me.  He was more proud of his attachment for using “coupons and buy one get one free offers”  than he was of me.  Hell, maybe she can give him a “save your life free” coupon.
After he slung around a few “babes” and appropriately displayed his perfectly honed pseudo angst, we moved on to another conversation.
I told him that I had run across a few more things that belonged to him and I wanted to return them.  I could have and probably should have thrown them away but I kept thinking…”what if he had something of mine that was precious to me?”  Would I want him to prove that he really is the scum-bag that he is and throw them away?
We made arrangements to meet at a local restaurant.  I don’t know how he swung it with his attachment.  From what I understand, she never lets him out of her sight….and she’d be wise not to.  He hasn’t exactly proven his honesty or faithfulness…..to either one of us.
I got to the restaurant before he did and I just sat in my car and waited.  I remember seeing him drive in and I actually felt like I was going to throw up.
We went into the restaurant and decided to sit outside.  We ordered something to eat, but I wasn’t able to eat very much.  He ordered beers of course.  The chatting was sparse and I found it extremely difficult to even look at him. I was so uncomfortable that I could hardly breathe and I wanted to get up and get out of there.
At one point, I remember looking more or less “over him” and I said “you know, I cannot imagine that you and I were ever together.”  He leaned toward me and raised his voice when he said “yeah, well that’s where you and I are different!”
What the hell did that mean?  Was he suddenly feeling nostalgic?  Was he actually under the impression that there had ever been “an us…other than running a business together?  The look on his face was that ever familiar contempt and disgust.
For that brief second of looking at his contemptible, disgusted face, I went into one of those “flashback” scenarios that you see in movies all the time…(which I hate.)
I remembered that he had tears in his eyes and his voice was cracking when he said “I’ll never forget the look on my daddys’ face when they were shoving that cath into him.”
WOW.  I wonder if he even remembers (never mind will never forget) the look on my face when he told me to “just shut up and have the fucking kid!”  Or when he slapped me.  Or when he was listening to his drunken mama “shred ME into hamburger.”  Or when he finally admitted his infidelity THE FIRST TIME.  Or when he told me that he had given me Herpes.  Or years later, when he said “yeah….MAYBE I GAVE YOU HERPES after having been prompted by “somebody” who was what…trying to justify her own immorality by suggesting that maybe I was a tramp?  Or when he screamed “YOU’RE A FUCKING BITCH.”  Or when he waited until CHRISTMAS DAY to tell me about his latest attachment.  I think the answer would be no.
I could almost guarantee that he remembers the “distraught, deeply hurt look” on the face of his attachment when she found out that her married lover had been unfaithful to her.  That must have been priceless.
He knew that I had received pictures of him and his attachment and asked me to bring the latest one.  He seemed to study it with puzzlement.  I won’t describe the attachment but Loser looked like his usual self….bombed out of his mind and he certainly didn’t have the “I belong to her now” smile wiped all over HIS face.
When he got home, he immediately “unfriended” my family members on social media.  That fool really believed that it was somebody in my family that was sending the pictures and notes to me.  It was hilarious.
I sometimes think Loser and his attachment both think that they’re still in junior high school.  She thinks she can dictate what state I’m allowed to visit and he was acting like somebody had spray-painted a nasty message on his locker.  Like I say….they’re the perfect pair…of twelve-year-olds.
He had emailed me almost a year before and said “I believe my love is toxic to anyone who has it.”  That, too was hilarious.  When I wrote that letter to him, I actually addressed that statement.  I said “your love is only toxic to the people who deserved it.”
While we were sitting there, I told him that it had only taken me forty-one years to realize that “the only women he respected and the only women to whom his love wasn’t toxic……..were the women who were JUST LIKE HIM.”  He looked at me with this blank stare and said nothing.  I think I hit a nerve.
I described our lives to him this way.
I told him that it was like standing on the beach, looking at a ship sinking ever so slowly and there was nothing that could be done to stop it.  When it finally disappeared, there was only the faintest ripple.  There was no noise, no tremble and eventually, there was no evidence that it had ever been there at all.
He continued to press me about my health and my plans.  I kept asking him why he would possibly want to know.  He finally threw up his hands and said “so I’ll have something in my head!”
I wasn’t going to give him anything to “put in his head” but now, it was my turn to do the placating.
I told him I would text him and tell him if he promised to keep it private.  He gave me another one of his “worthless promises” and true to himself, really thought that he was so important, I was actually going to do it.  The text he received from me simply said “I don’t trust you.”

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