Home » A Wasted Life » Some People Seem To Think They Own A Person…And A State

Some People Seem To Think They Own A Person…And A State

I hadn’t given much thought to going to get my things until J*** emailed me and asked me how June looked. I told him it would work for me.  I mentioned several things he had that I wanted to get back.  He didn’t really want to give back some of the things he had but I told him that I thought that between the things he had and the things his attachment had, they should be able to set up housekeeping just fine without needing my things.
J*** said “what do you mean…..set up housekeeping?”  I guess he had forgotten that he had already spilled the beans about their plans to start shacking up together.
I asked him if he didn’t plan on marrying her as soon as the divorce was final and he said “NO.”  I had asked him several times if he intended to marry her and the answer was always the same……“NO.”  Yeah, like I really believe anything he says.
He asked me if he could have the Fiestaware dishes and I agreed to bring them with me when I came.  My car was crammed full of his stuff…..papers, golf balls, books, clothes, all of those dishes and there was still more that I couldn’t bring.
I called to tell him everything I was going to be able to fit in my car and while we were talking, he asked me if I wanted the sheets back that I had given to him.  Was he serious?  Did he really think I wanted the sheets back that he was having sex (or not) with his attachment on?  It was bad enough that they were covering up with my quilts. Did I want the sheets back?  What the hell is wrong with this man?
I had wanted to go to the “property” and use my metal detector for a long time.  This looked like the last opportunity that I would have to do that so we planned on spending a day up there.
I timed my arrival so that he would be able to play golf before I got there.  I had planned on getting a motel room but J*** said I would stay with him at the condo.
We went out to eat and made plans for the next day.  We were sitting out on his back porch and he was looking at his telephone.  I told him I would go inside if he needed to make a call.  He said “I haven’t heard from her in five days.”
As soon as he told her that I was coming up, she said “so, she thinks she can come up here anytime she wants to now?”  Wow!  This attachment really had balls, didn’t she?
He told her that I wasn’t going to come up there without “asking” him first.  I wasn’t going to come up there without asking him first?   Who the hell is this man?
She stopped speaking to him anyway.  Wait a minute…..wasn’t that “shutting up?” I thought he hated that.
According to the email I got from J***, he asked me to come up there.  I guess he forgot to mention that to his attachment.
It probably wouldn’t have mattered.  She had to punish him anyway so that he would continue to have no doubt who was really in control of that relationship.
I will say that it was pathetic to see this big, strong, cocky, in your face, “I’m God” man, being reduced to nothing but a hollow puppet.
J*** had told me several months before, that I wasn’t allowed to come up there because it was “her territory” but he would come to see me or drive anywhere to meet me.  Wasn’t that nice of him?
I had to go up there, per a legal agreement and J***s’ attachment (who J*** is committing adultery with) is under the impression that she has the right to question my right to see him or come to S**** C*******.  Oh, I forgot.  It’s her territory.  I don’t know if she declared it or he did.
I wasn’t aware that she had acquired the state and thought that she could dictate who could come and go.  I told J*** to tell her that I would come up there any time I wanted and there wasn’t a Goddamn thing she could do about it.
If I had questioned him like that about his first wife, he would have put me in my place faster than you could have blinked.
After that, I didn’t care what she thought or said because I just did not have the time or the inclination to straddle another huge ego.
The next day, we went to the property.  A huge tree had fallen over the driveway.  J*** had my chain saw and wanted to cut the tree into pieces so he could move it.  He didn’t have any idea what he was doing.  He kept trying to get it started and I finally told him he had to turn the switch on.  We got it cut in half but could only move it a little.
He took me to their “campsite.”  He was bragging about how good food tasted when cooked over an open fire.
Again, who the hell is this man?  Did he really think I wanted to see where they had camped out and hear how they cooked their food?  What is wrong with him?
He had taken some beer and started drinking and he was really slamming them down.  We started talking and I asked him if his attachment was telling him she loved him.  He said “oh, yeah.  She’s been saying that since about the first night we met.”  Really?  She must have immediately spotted “something” about him.  I asked him if he was telling her that he loved her and he said “yeah” then he paused and said “but I don’t.”
I asked him why he would tell her he loved her if he didn’t and he said “because I’m a scumbag….at least that’s what her aunt says I am.”  After our little “benefit visit” was exposed, he said her aunt told his attachment to “get rid of him.  He’s a scumbag.”
I had brought the “eternity wedding band guilt gift” to give back to him.  I didn’t want it and would never put it on my finger again.  I don’t know what happened to that ring.  He said he couldn’t find it.  I know I don’t have it and I wonder if it’s on somebody elses’ finger.  I wouldn’t be surprised….after all, J*** is one of the greatest “re-gifters” in the world.
The next day, we just basically hung out and he drank.  The more he drank, the more belligerent he got.  He said that he wanted to retire and I said “okay.”  I guess I should have said “great” or something because he yelled “you wanted me to fucking work until I died!”  Yep.  That’s what I wanted.
Then it switched to “you wanted me to stay married to a woman who couldn’t stand for me to touch her.”  Yep.  That what I wanted….especially since I had asked him for a divorce several times.
I couldn’t stand for him to touch me so poor J*** had to go out and find somebody to assuage his loneliness.  He found an attachment, is telling her he loves her but doesn’t…so what does he want from me…..pity…..tears…..a show of jealousy…..a hug?
The night before I was going to go back to F******, we were sitting outside on his porch and I mentioned that I had talked to my daughters’ old soccer coach and we were going to have dinner.  I had also talked to another man whose daughter had played soccer with our children.  Then, there was my high school chum that I had reconnected with.
J*** looked at me and said “so, you have three men on the hook?  What are you doing?  Using them for free dinners?”
I almost imploded.  I reminded him that I wasn’t the user in this triangle.  I thought “how dare you say that to me” but then I remembered that he had already treated me like a tramp.  Maybe he was seeking vindication by trying to insinuate that I was nothing but a cheap adulterer, too.
I decided it was time to give him something that I had owed him for thirty-six years.  I got up and slapped him in the face…..twice.
He’s a foot taller than I am and outweighed me by probably a hundred and twenty-five pounds so I imagine my slaps were along the lines of being hit by a fly.  I knew one thing.  They couldn’t compare to the slap he had given me.
I got my things, loaded them in my car and took off.  It was 10:30 at night but I didn’t care.  I wanted the hell out of there and away from him.  If he had followed me, I might have been tempted to run him down in the parking lot.
I immediately got lost.  I didn’t have any idea where I was but I kept driving.  I was mad at him and I was mad because I was lost so I didn’t have any trouble staying awake.
I had plenty of time to rerun years and years, months and months, weeks and weeks and days and days over and over in my mind.
I was remembering what had happened just in the last few months…..how he told me that I had made him “look ridiculous” in front of his attachment……(poor baby was innocent in that whole deal, wasn’t he?)……..how he had accused me of “using men for dinners”…..how he was telling his attachment that he loved her, “but didn’t”………..how he had sent me that Mothers’ Day card, telling me that “I was the love of his life.”
He was telling his attachment that he loved her.  He was telling me that he didn’t.  He was telling me that “I’m the love of his life.”  Was he telling his attachment that I’m wasn’t?
LOVE.  Now it’s my turn to say “that’s ridiculous.”

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