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Another Wedding And Another Drunken Display

Now it was K****s’ turn to get married.  Her wedding was in stark contrast to B*****s’.  B*****s’ was pink and sort of “precious.”  K****s’ was more “earthy.”
K**** told me that she was going to invite R***.  B***** had chosen not to invite R*** to her wedding because of the way that she treated her and because of how she had treated me.
I told K**** that if she invited R***, I wouldn’t come to her wedding.  She was upset but I could not fathom being anywhere around that woman again.  I told her and E* that once……just once…..I wanted to be chosen first.  E* said I could get the first invitation.
I knew K**** would not bend on her decision so I told her I would go but only if I didn’t have to talk to R*** and she wouldn’t be seated at my table.  J*** had said earlier that he didn’t care where he sat as long as it was beside me.
Not only did K**** invite R***, she invited J***s’ brother and his wife.
I just thought…….”great.”
K**** and E* chose an elegant mansion for their wedding and it was beautiful.
J*** and I got there several hours before the ceremony because I was going to help K**** get ready.  As soon as we got there, he started drinking….and he didn’t stop.
I was concerned that he might not be able to walk K**** down the aisle without falling down but he made it.
After the vows, he walked me up to the reception area and then took my hand.  I jerked it away from him.  I just didn’t want to be around him when he was so drunk.
I asked him to slow down because he was making a spectacle of himself in front of everybody.  His response?  “Fuck everybody”……and he said it loud enough for everybody to hear it.
When it was time to eat, we were all in this huge room.  I had seen R*** and was actively trying to avoid not only her, but J***s’ brother. My sister-in-law came and sat down beside me when I was turned the other way.  She started the conversation the way she had started all the other conversations we had…..”I can’t get in the middle of this.”
I had always wanted to tell her that there was and never had been “a middle.”  It had always been everybody standing on one side of the room and I was on the other.  I didn’t say it, but I wish I had.  I didn’t listen to anything she had to say because I didn’t care what she had to say.  She, like I said, was one of those people who knew what had gone on, but chose to play the game so that she wouldn’t be ostracized like me.  Just like J*** and his daddy and his brother, she never once thought about standing up for me.
Next, J***s’ brother stopped right in front of me, put both of his hands on my elbows and told me he wasn’t going to let me get away.  To this day, I cannot remember what he said because I was thinking the whole time he was talking, “who the hell do you think you are…..acting like we’re friends?”
I had successfully avoided contact with R*** but as I was walking across the room, she was suddenly there.  She said “I just want you to know that K**** looks beautiful, you look beautiful and I’m just so honored to be here.”  I looked at her with cold, dead eyes and walked away without saying a word.  What she said meant absolutely nothing to me.
My friend C****, who had the wonderful Christmas parties in O******, came down from N**** C*******.  They had just left S**** C******, which was J***s’ home state.  She hadn’t seen J*** in years and was looking forward to see him.  She spotted him on the veranda, leaning against a column, with a beer in his hand.  She could tell right away that he was drunker than a skunk.
There was no “hello” from him.  He immediately told her that her husband, T** was an asshole for not coming to the wedding and he was a further asshole for moving them out of S**** C******* because he was going to have to be in C******* later that year and was planning on staying with them.
Then he said that everybody in N**** C******* (my home state) were assholes from somewhere else and he liked HIS state to be pure.  His state?  HIS STATE?  Who is this man?
He wasn’t the only person who thought he personally owned the state of S**** C*******.  I would find out later that somebody else had those same entitled thoughts.
C**** said she told him that she thought the people in S**** C******* were mostly assholes, too and he was representing them just fine at that moment.
It was no longer a wonder to me why people had always asked me how I could stand to being married to him.
I had dodged him as much as I could.  When he wasn’t insulting people, he was sitting on the veranda by himself, drinking.
I asked him again, this time in what I thought was a non-confrontational way, to slow down.  I told him that if he fell down and hit his head, I didn’t know if I could pick him up.  He looked at me with his curled lip and rabid dog growl and said “like you fucking care.”
At that particular moment……I didn’t care.
Toward the end of the night, I went inside and saw J*** and K**** head to head in the foyer.  I was furious and wanted to go grab him and tell him that he wasn’t going to ruin K****s’ wedding and make my child cry.  Almost everybody saw the confrontation.  A few people took pictures and some of them and mentioned it to me.
What was I supposed to say?  That he was just “drunk” as usual?  That it was more important for him to drink as much as he could instead of trying to make the night something that K**** would remember forever because her daddy had been so caring and supportive?
I think all of us knew by then, that all J*** wanted to do WAS drink as much as he possibly could…..just like his mama.
K**** told me later that she told him she didn’t care what he said or thought.  She was happy with her life and wasn’t going to end up like him.
The wedding was over and we got back to my house.  Before I knew it, J*** and my sister were outside having a loud argument about Obama.  I went out and told them to quiet down because I lived there and I didn’t want the neighborhood disturbed.  J*** in his true form, yelled “fuck the neighborhood.”
It continued, and I went out again and told both of them to shut up and get in the house.  P**** came in and said “I can’t wait to fucking go to bed and I can’t wait to fucking get out of here.”
The next morning, I told J*** that he was welcome at my house anytime but he couldn’t drink around me anymore.  His answer was to tell me that he was never coming down again.
That was his stock answer.  Rather than admit or apologize for what he did and said, the answer was to just play the avoidance game, which he had honed to perfection.  Ignore it and it will go away.
I had told B***** that I told J*** that he couldn’t drink around me anymore.  She knew how much I hated it and she said that she was proud of me.
We didn’t know it then, but B***** was expecting her first child and we were going to have another grandchild the next summer.

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